[Warning: Lots of profanity… I know, how unlike me…]
We had essentially 2 dinner parties here this past weekend. Of course everyone wants to see the baby, but no one seemed to know when it was TIME TO LEAVE. My MIL was just thrilled to have an excuse to scrub my kitchen and do all my laundry, because I am such a slattern, when what I really needed her to do is play with Simon and Jude so I can worry about just the baby and maybe catch a nap. But no, it' s much more important to do all my laundry (now I know why Dan can’t sort his laundry according to color – ergh!) and IRON THE BOYS' SHIRTS!!!! Jesus Christ.
And she was all helpful and offered dinner on Sunday but then called and said she couldn't come over till at least 530. Oh how helpful. Glad to see we are accommodating someone’s schedule, even if it’s not mine and I am the one who JUST GAVE BIRTH. Well, so - dinner not till 630, boys up way too late for the second night in a row (their bedtime is 8), her hounding them to eat (I refuse to demand that they clear their plates - has she not read those articles about obesity? Of course I give them just a little bit at a time (also because Dan is a freak about wasting food) instead of a farmhand helping, too.) and then instead of going home, she felt the need to swab the entire kitchen, empty the garbage cans, God knows what all else. I practically had to PUSH them out the door. All I wanted to do was go to sleep while James was sleeping.
And you know, if you just can’t DO something without asking me a hundred questions (I don’t care where the fuck you put the roll of Scotch tape! Or whether Si’s sandwich is cut in quarters or triangles!), I might just as well get up and do it myself.
Then she wanted to know where my ironing board was. Fuck if I know, frankly. Who irons anything with a 2- and a 4-year-old around? Let alone THEIR clothes?
So yes, I had a total meltdown when the hordes left. Could not stop crying for half an hour and went to the ped yesterday with swollen eyes and blotchy skin. James is doing fine, but I have to take him again on Thursday for a weight check. The little booger is sucking me dry, but he hasn’t put on any weight yet.
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We put in the application for the school for Si for next year – now I just need to wait till December. Ah the stress. And this is the *public school* application process!
And Si and I are embarking upon “lesson plans” because the kid is BORED. So this week we are exploding his clay volcano (remember the grade-school project with baking soda and vinegar?) and reading books about volcanoes and coloring pics of volcanoes.
Next week - he picked planets. I have a feeling my third floor is about to be hung all over with badly-painted Styrofoam balls.
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Oh and yeah - fever, chills, shakes, and my palms itch like a mother. So I am sick but about to come into money?
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Reading, you ask? Haha, I laugh at you. I manage to get the paper read, and I look longingly at Shalimar the Clown every time I go by it, but nada mas right now. Someday my brain will function again and I will catch up on weeks of Salon and Bookslut coverage, and your eyes will glaze with boredom.
7 comments:
I really, really hope that Dan (or those wretched in-laws of yours) are planning to take Simon and Jude on some kind of outing this weekend so that you can enjoy what I think will be chilly weather by 1.) Dozing in a hot bath while James naps, 2.) Snuggling under a comforter with James while he naps, 3.) Reading something easy and funny like Virgins while you nurse, and 4.) Eating something nice like beef stew and chocolate chip cookies.
Well. That sucks.
Are you taking vicodin (she asked, as she thought longingly of her generous post-childbirth prescriptions)? That can cause the palm itching, at least for me.
I hope you get some sleep, and better yet some PEACE, very soon. It gets better! But you know that already because you're one kid up on me!
By the way, the letters I have to type for this comment are "srhit". I hope that amuses you as much as it did me.
the comments passwords always make laugh - someday i am going to write an entry just on some of the ones i've had to type.
no vicodin - i was lucky they gave me motrin! they *told* me i could have tylenol with codeine but then ihad to beg just for the motrin.
dan has to go to a viewing tonight; my 1st night alone with all 3, god help me.
I wish you could tell certain people in your life to "UCK OFF!" the way little Victor Smart does in "A Star Called Henry."
Wow, I can't seem to say anything here at BTS without referring to that damn book that I hate and love.
What I do love are Gina's suggestions / wishes for you, and I hope that you're able to indulge in at least one if not all of them! (If *I* ran the world, you better believe you'd be able to...)
You need chocolate mousse. I can tell.
-Joke
Wow, you know, you're right, Joke!
Seriously, I did decide yesterday I needed a serious chocolate infusion. I will be addressing that need this morning when I take James to the doc and me to the Chocolate Moose. Gina tried to bring me FiveStar Bars but Whole Foods no longer carries them. So I think I need some Dolfin pink peppercorn dark chocolate.
What, in the name of all that is chocolate, is Dolfin pink peppercorn dark chocolate?? And where does one obtain it?? I hope it's not just another cool Pittsburgh thing.
Scott and I went to a Dante's Inferno party last year, and someone had made chocolate / black pepper biscotti. I had never heard of mixing chocolate and pepper. I loved them.
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