The silicon chip inside her head gets switched to overload...

My Monday whine, not having one damn thing to do with any sort of books at all. I apologize.

*********************

I burnt my arm trying to mop up the spillover from last night’s chicken pot pie. The oven was preheating for today's pumpkin pies, and I burnt the top of my arm on the rack and then the bottom on the door. If I weren’t so stupid, I would expect some sympathy.

Every time I tried to get out the door this morning, Jude was poopy. And both times, I let him be poopy. I am a terrible mother. If it’s any consolation/punishment at all, I was the one who had to smell him the whole time.

I made lentil soup for dinner tonight. When I tried to open the bag of lentils to put them into the pot, I - of course - spilled half the bag all over the kitchen floor which is already so freaking gross that the lentils had to be just pitched.

When I picked Si up at preschool, he immediately began to whine about something. His teacher wrinkled her forehead and said, “He’s *never* like that here.” Of course not, because you might actually clock him one whereas I as his mother am meant to exhibit never-ending patience and grace.

It is pouring rain; the Mancini’s bread was not in at the deli yet so I had to buy different bread; I have a headache; I put the baby in the Snugli and he threw up down my cleavage. I hate both my cats at the moment and want nothing more than to shut them out in the rain. And I can’t get rid of the damn fruit flies in my kitchen.

Everything that comes out of my mother-in-law’s mouth irritates me, so clearly I am an awful daughter-in-law. Babies CRY – it’s what they DO. It doesn’t make them bad or good. And while I care about my online friend in SoFla (Joke, hope you’re ok), I was annoyed that my MIL called at 830 this morning to let me know that my Perfect sister-in-law and her family were perfectly safe throughout the hurricane. I have not one shred of human decency in this body. I mean, she has been calling to give us practically an hourly update but regardless…not one shred.

And speaking of this body, I am skinnier than I have been in a long time, and am now terrified to eat for fear that I will get fat again. My brother-in-law laughed at me and said, “We’re old married people, we don’t have to worry about impressing anyone anymore.” And that is so not true in my case that I am depressed and angry about being afraid of gaining back the weight.

The library is telling me I lost a book I am SURE I returned.

We have Thermo Pro boilers to heat our house and I cannot find one single person or company to come service them. We were hoping to keep them and just have them maintained as they are wildly efficient, but now it’s possible we will need to replace them to the tune of several thousand dollars. I love my house but I hate my house.

My favorite used bookstore, Bryn Mawr-Vassar, is closing on Friday. Not only am I sad it’s closing, but also I am sad because I never found the time to go pick through all their stuff for their closing sale.

We went to church yesterday, the nice Episcopalian church on the corner. It was peaceful and lovely, but as a former Baptist, I admit I found the music a tad boring.

And it took me four tries to get this post to publish. Damn Blogger.

The good things:

Dan and I watched Network Friday night. I love William Holden, and the movie was brilliant.

Simon and Dan made a movie about trains yesterday, using stop-action filming with the camcorder and all the little Thomas trains. It was also brilliant.

I just got a prime seat to go see Dar Williams on November 12. I can’t wait.