Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Daydream Believer

I’m going to assume you’ve all seen High Fidelity (okay, I assume you’ve read it, too, but I’m talking specifically about the movie). Think back to the scene where we first get to see Lisa Bonet as Marie deSalle, in that club where she’s singing the Peter Frampton song. Remember how Rob, Dick and Barry are just completely BEWITCHED? I want to be her. Just for a while—one night, even. I want to be beautiful and exotic and smiling and mysterious and lovely, and have men of all kinds just kind of stare at me and imagine little scenarios in which we live together and I might include one of our private jokes in a song lyric and then a tiny picture of him off in a corner of the liner notes of my next album.

Forget that I’m not beautiful or sexy or mysterious. Forget that I can’t sing. Where is the fairy godmother that will just give me that feeling for one night? Is that so much to ask? Who would you have your FGM poof you into for a night?

*****

Work pretty much blows right now. We’re getting ready for a May pledge drive that is fully twice as long as a normal May drive, which is bad. The fact that I have no student interns to work with makes it worse: I literally have half the staff to do twice the work. All I know for sure is that I’m going to be taking some serious time off at the end of May.

*****

Most Disgusting Thing Ever, or America Really Doesn’t Stand a Chance:

Have you guys seen the 7/11 Pizza Sandwich? My GOD! My boss saw it featured on The Apprentice last night, and he’s still kind of in shock.



*****

That’s about it for me. Um, Joke, if you want to email me about the light saber, send to gmcb17 at gmail.

19 comments:

andrea said...

that's only slightly better for you than the luther.

Gina said...

Dear GOD. See? America doesn't have a prayer.

andrea said...

i saw it on the boondocks first and assumed it was just poking fun at blah blah blah obesity blah, but apparently no - people do eat it, restaurants do serve it, and mister vandross apparently started it.

cheers.

jess said...

Assume away. I love that moment when he fastfowards through their entire possible relationship to having his name in the liner notes! I don't know who I'd be, though.

Joke said...

1- Lisa Bonet is NUTS. Any lurid scenario I could conceivably entertain with her as a costar inevitably ends with her shouting incoherently and forcibly removing my throat with a fork.

2- That sandwich is worse than the end of America. It is a sign of the Apocalypse. I fear that Judgment Day may arrive with greater than anticipated severity.

-J.

Gina said...

*Is* Lisa Bonet nuts? Or is this fork scenario just based on a viewing of Angel Heart? Either way, I would love to spend a night in that sort of Marie deSalle role.

And yes, that sandwich is evidence that the world is coming to an end. Sometimes I think the sooner the better.

BabelBabe said...

That sandwich is just FOUL.

I want to be Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson) at the end of Some Kind of Wonderful. Or Loretta Castorini at the opera with Ronny Camareri.

Gina said...

Oh, Watts. :-)

julia said...

I wouldn't mind being Ruth, in Fried Green Tomatoes (except avoiding the whole dying young thing). She had a serenity that I envy.

BabelBabe said...

I just want to be Mary Louise Parker. Plus, you'd get to sleep with Josh from West Wing. Yum!

Don't mind me as I mix reality with fantasy and television...

Cari said...

I would die for one night just to look and be like Angelina Jolie and her character in Mr.& Mrs. Smith. Not that I would ever want to kill anyone...but to look like that...and have that much confidence and power. Wow!

Joke said...

Lisa Bonet IS MENTAL. I've seen her do a couple of talk shows and she's like "Crispin Glover" crazy.

-J.

Carolyn said...

I would have my fairy godmother poof me into a man.

Then I would walk around peeing on trees and scratching my nether regions.

May I order a Big Gulp with my pizza sandwich?

Sarah Louise said...

The only problem: I can't eat pizza without Coke. And about 2 years or so ago, 7-11 changed to Pepsi products. The end of the Coke Slurpee. Our family (well, my brother and I) almost had a memorial service. It has pizza--good. Lettuce--good. And you don't have to heat it? When it comes out, next Tuesday, I'll let you know if it's any good. (We all know what next Tuesday is, right?)
Um, Paul Revere Day?? "It was the 18th of April in 75..."

I'll go skulk back to bed. After all, I don't have to be at work until 9!

Joke said...

WAIT.

7-11 no switched from Coke to Pepsi?

No wonder all their stores closed up ovah heah.

Bastids.

-J.

BabelBabe said...

The all-time best ever breakfast? A Coca-Cola Slurpee and a Philly soft pretzel. Or two. Wawa coffee can sub for the Slurpee if absolutely necessary.

I had no idea anyone else in the entire world cared that 7-11 switched. There's ONE 7-11 in Pgh, and it's on the way to work, and one day last summer I stopped for a Slurpee - and my world CRUMBLED. I HATE Pepsi. Sob.

Bec of the Ladies Lounge said...

Oh yes, Gina! I know that moment and it would be way cool ...

but I think the BB has really nailed it with Mary Louise Parker in West Wing. Smart, funny, sexy voice, amazing wardrobe, powerful job, Josh Lyman in the sack, feminist-principles-intact and still perfectly bee-yew-tiful...

As for the sandwich. We are, once again, terrifically thankful NOT to be American (we love you all, but we can't eat with you, ok?)

Sarah Louise said...

There are two 7-11s in the No Hills and both are on my way home. I used to love getting Coke Slurpees or just a Big Gulp Cherry Coke. I guess I save more cash now, but...

and is it my imagination, or did Subway *just* switch to Coke? I thought they were Pepsi, but they now carry Coke, hurrah! And yes, Cherry Coke, which isn't always easy to find.

Lazy cow said...

I want to be Geena Davis in 'The long kiss goodnight'. She kicks arse big time.