A Whole Bunch of Stuff

Howdy, y’all!

Here are several things I’ve been meaning to talk to you about, in no particular order:

I watched The 40-Year-Old Virgin Friday night, and Must Love Dogs Saturday morning. I thought 40YOV was funnier than I’d expected, and I was surprised by what a “girl movie” it was, even with all the gross boy-type jokes. There certainly is a large degree of belief that must be suspended, but it’s a really fun movie. I laughed like a fool several times.

Must Love Dogs is cute and sweet. We all know how I dig John Cusack (I really think I’d pay to watch him eat his breakfast), and I liked Diane Lane too. I think I’d be a lot more optimistic about love/partnership/marriage if I were as elegant and pretty as Diane Lane. (I’m writing this in Microsoft Word, and Bill Gates and his Grammar Goons think “Diane Lane” is an address. Ha!)

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Teddy took some sort of crazy standardized test this weekend. Have I mentioned it? It’s organized through Carnegie Mellon University, and they call it a Talent Search, or something to that effect. Kids in grades three through five who score well on the standardized tests their schools give them are invited to take this test, which is essentially a standardized test designed for eighth graders.

I asked him if he wanted to take the test when we got the invitation thing a few months ago, and I explained that it was for eighth graders, and that it’s my thought that Carnegie Mellon uses the scores more for gathering information than anything else; I told him it would be REALLY hard, but that it didn’t matter. I also told him that his taking this test would be like my being in library school and taking a medical school test—just something of a curiosity.

So he took the test, and told me he thought it was pretty fun, and that he thought he did well in English (grammar/usage), Reading (comprehension) and Science (which seemed mostly to be about reading charts and graphs, according to the boy). The math part, however, presented Teddy with algebra and geometry far beyond anything he’d seen before. He did his best, and didn’t seem traumatized at all, but he did think it was unfair of the test people to present him with letters and symbols (like for pi and those squiggly lines that mean “approximately”) that he’d never seen before. We went to lunch right after, and he drew πr2 and asked what the heck that was all about. :-)

We went to the library after lunch, so I could learn a bit about Federal Depository libraries for my Government Documents class. I had fun browsing through The World Fact Book 2005, which is an annual published by the CIA. Did you know that only about 1% of the US population is Jewish? I’d have thought it was a lot higher than that.

Speaking of Jewish, I took Teddy for a haircut after the library, where he was seen to after the owner finished brushing out the set of a little old lady’s hair. The lady was bent totally in half and used a walker, and was probably about four-foot-nine if she stood straight. She made her way to the lobby area to wait for her ride, and I helped her sit next to me. She explained that her arthritis made it difficult for her to walk after sitting for a while. I mentioned that my mother’s hands are starting to bother her, and that she likes washing dishes because the hot water feels so nice . . . just small talk. The lady, though, proceeded to tell me that she believes she has such bad arthritis because she spent five years in a CONCENTRATION CAMP.

What is the etiquette in this situation? I tried not to look aghast, but I think I looked suitably sobered and impressed, and maybe sympathetic. As if I can IN ANY WAY sympathize with a woman who lost her parents and sister in the Holocaust. I listened to her talk about them, and about sleeping on concrete, and never having shoes—even in the winter—and I patted her little hand and kept sneaking looks at my beautiful, healthy, vibrant son and thought about my pitiful little divorce “tragedy” and tried not to think about how my “misery” can really never, ever compare to something like that.

So.

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And finally, because I’ve been having a lot of trouble finding something to really read and enjoy, I gave in and picked up The Ultimate Unofficial Guide to the Mysteries of Harry Potter. I am a complete and total dork, yes. It’s been fun reading, though, even if the writing itself is less than stellar. (Oh, and I think the author is a total homophobe, which comes out in all of her references to Gilderoy Lockhart.)

Here’s something I learned that I am embarrassed to not have thought of on my own: It’s very likely that Harry is a direct descendent of Godric Gryffindor. His parents live in Godric’s Hollow. He’s a Leo. Red and gold sparks shot out of his wand at Ollivander’s when he finally found the right one. Cool. :-)

And here’s something I came up with while reading the book—something the book people haven’t said and so is right now my own brilliant theory: I think Dumbledore might be a phoenix (somehow). According to the book’s quote from the Rowling book about magical creatures, phoenixes are VERY hard to domesticate, so very, very few live among people. Fawkes is dark red; Dumbledore had dark red hair when he was young. Also, Dumbledore was the Transfiguration teacher before becoming Headmaster, yet we’ve never read of his turning into anything like we’ve seen McGonigall turn into a cat.

I admit there are myriad holes in this theory, but I think I’m on to something. Anyone?

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Finally, let’s talk about hygiene products. I got a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s Castile Soap (the one that’s mild enough to use on babies), and Ted and I have been using it for several days as both a shampoo and soap. It smells clean and wonderful, and my hair seems to be just fine—with no conditioner!

And . . . has anyone ever heard of a feminine hygiene product called the Diva Cup? I bought one this weekend, mostly because of the rave reviews on the web site. Do any of you have any experience with this kind of thing? Just curious.

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I think that’s about it. Sorry for the long post, but I am without work e-mail. I’m lonely!