"Meddle not in the affairs of dragon; for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”

Tomorrow is the public school lottery.
Much as I despise word problems, allow me to pose this one for you.

Each kindergarten class is allowed 17 pupils.
That's a total of 34 kindergartners in the desired school.

Let's say 12 of the spots are automatically reserved for siblings
(This number varies, obviously, from year to year).
That leaves 22 spots open.

Half of those spots are automatically reserved for African-American pupils (I've never checked the "Other" checkbox before, it was a strange feeling).

That leaves 11 spots.

For the remaining 29 applicants.

Of which we are one.

H. has known this since the beginning of December but only informed me of the exact numbers Friday evening. Smart man.

I will not be sleeping tonight, just like Christmas when I was little, only in this case, I am not sure that what I will be receiving at the end of all this stomach-churning is going to be a good thing.

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Literary snippets:

I finished Caleb Carr's The Alienist. I was underwhelmed. I liked it, don't get me wrong, but I thought it was going to be amazing, I thought it was going to be overwhelmingly good. It was not. I was not even whelmed. I was underwhelmed.

I gave up on On the Ice after one too many "Ruth and I exchanged our shirts, warm flannel scented with her, on my bare skin" sorts of moments, interpolated with facts about Scott's fatal expedition to the Pole and interesting history about the McMurdo research station. I was interested in the latter bits but the former were so weirdly out of place among the latter that it pissed me off. If she'd even just been making a point about the oddity of relationships developed by people wintering over at the Pole, fine, but she wasn't. She was exploring and mending a broken heart, so sad, I know, I'm heartless, but that's not what I signed up for.

I am so moving to Chicago. The Bookslut book/author series is consistently interesting.

Gina, here’s your virtual birthday gift. I do believe it’s waterproof so it might come in very handy in the bathtub. (It’s for a *book*, you sickos!)

My librarian hero, protecting her constituents. I hope I would have those kind of cajones.

I am not generally a huge poetry fan. I do like Louis MacNeice, and I enjoy Pablo Neruda well enough, and Dorothy Parker (does she count as poetry even?). But upon Mary Doria Russell’s website urging, I signed up for an emailing of Gary Wilkens’ poetry. And the guy is GOOD. I look forward to getting his poems. I like reading them. Some of them make me stop and go, “Huh.” Or “Wow.” Or something equally heartfelt if inane. He’s just finished a cycle called “Molly and Dupree” and I think it’s great.

Since Gina got me reading comic books a little, what with Y: The Last Man and all, I find that every once in a while I enjoy them. I need to read Persepolis, and I would like to check out Alias. Mostly because I dig that Jessa likes the heroine pre-"shiny, manageable hair."

I like early Gail Godwin well enough. I remember enjoying very much Father Melancholy’s Daughter and A Mother and Two Daughters; but she got a tad melodramatic in later years - started sounding like Anne Rivers Siddons – ouch! - so I stopped reading her. Her new one, The Queen of the Underworld looks pretty good, enough that I will get it from the library at least. And isn’t that a great title? Actually, isn’t it in a Springsteen song?

Does anyone else think of Optimus Prime whenever they see the heading on Amazon about a particular title not being eligible for Amazon Prime? (And, no, I have no freaking clue what the Pepsi convoy has to do with OP. Curiouser and curiouser.) Of course now I am thinking "Octopus Prime"...because I am reading Motherless Brooklyn by Jonathan Lethem, which you must all immediately go read. You know how when you read in public and start laughing, you feel a little silly and self-conscious? I spent my whole lunch break feeling that way, and then feeling mildly horrible (is that possible?) for laughing so hard at a character who suffers from Tourette’s. (But he’s such a bright and complex character. And he's so damn funny.)

The fact that Gabriel Garcia Marquez is done writing is a shame. Love in the Time of Cholera is a book everyone should read.

So if we simply ignore and pretend certain derogatory terms don’t even exist, we are teaching our children….what? Tolerance, enlightenment, equality…wouldn’t want to do that now, would we?

Hilary Spurling just won the Whitbread Award for her biography of Matisse. I wonder how much of it she made up? I sure hope those Whitbread folks aren’t going to be embarrassed by her now.

Give Dooce a rest, people! I wonder if she’ll actually win a Bloggie. I personally nominated Badger and Blackbird, dammit. But the only one I need to vote for in the finalists is Finslippy, whom I find amusing. I have a few issues with her son, but nothing for which his cuteness doesn’t make up.

Did you know there are two Graham Greenes? See the kinds of things I learn at work?

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Joke’s “To know me is to love me” meme


Movies You Need To See To Understand Me Better
Moonstruck
Love Actually
Emma
Clueless
Charade
Roman Holiday
Sixteen Candles
Pretty in Pink
Breakfast Club
Some Kind of Wonderful
10 Things I Hate About You
The Godfather
Kenneth Brannagh’s Henry V
To Kill a Mockingbird

Albums You Need To Listen To Understand Me Better
An Innocent Man – Billy Joel
The River – Bruce Springsteen
Bless the Beasts and Children/Nadia's Theme
A Quiet Normal Life - Warren Zevon
Saint Dominic's Preview - Van Morrison
Kid A - Radiohead
OK Computer - Radiohead
everything Dar Williams, but especially Mortal City
everything Chris Smither
Singles 45's and Under - Squeeze
Philadelphia Chickens
La Boheme - the version with Victoria de los Angeles, conducted by Sir Thomas Beecham
just about anything Sibelius
Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash - The Pogues
If I Should Fall From Grace With God - The Pogues

TV Shows You Need to (Have) Watch(ed) To Understand Me Better
Quincy
M*A*S*H*
Love Boat/Fantasy Island duo on Saturday nights
Facts of Life
Melrose Place
Ally McBeal
Freaks and Geeks
Sports Night
Family Guy
Curb Your Enthusiasm
ER

Books You Need To Read To Understand Me Better
Roller Skates - Rith Sawyer
all of LM Montgomery
most of Madeleine L'Engle
Bridge to Terabithia - Katherine Paterson
Understood Betsy - Dorothy Canfield Fisher
Farmer Boy - Laura Ingalls Wilder
all of Laurie Colwin
Jitterbug Perfume - Tom Robbins
In Watermelon Sugar - Richard Brautigan
The Eyre Affair - Jasper Fforde
Jane Austen - any and all
Ethan Frome - Edith Wharton
Satanic Verses - Salman Rushdie
The Sparrow - Mary Doria Russell
all of the Trixie Belden mysteries
Stones from the River - Ursula Hegi
The Salterton Trilogy - Robertson Davies (really, all of Davies)
Miss Buncle - DE Stevenson

Games You Need To Play To Understand Me Better
Spoons
Hearts
Basketball
Celebrities
Fictionary
Parcheesi
Risk

Musicals/Plays You Need To See To Understand Me Better
Arcadia - Tom Stoppard
Red Noses - Peter Barnes
Pippin
Guys and Dolls (a poirson can develop a cold...)
La Boheme
Uncle Vanya - Chekhov
No Exit - Sartre
110 Degrees in the Shade
Jesus Christ Superstar (also the movie)
Who's Afraid of Virgina Woolf? - Edward Albee
Seventy Scenes of Halloween - Jeffrey Jones
The Bakkhai - Euripides

Periodicals You Need To Read To Understand Me Better
House and Garden
Brain, Child
Newsweek
Runner's World
Fine Cooking
my alumni magazine
the sadly-now-defunct Book

Catalogs You Need To Get--not necessarily order from--To Understand Me Better
LL Bean
Title 9
Pottery Barn
King Arthur Flour

Places You Need To Visit To Understand Me Better
South Jersey
the shore
Philadelphia
Twinsburgh, Ohio
York, England
London, England
New Orleans
Florence, Italy

Comestibles & Libations Of Which You Must Partake To Understand Me Better
Bacardi and Coke, no lime
Starbucks peppermint mocha
omelettes
sushi - especially yellowtail and red snapper
blue cheeseburgers, preferably with bacon - the ones at Tessaro's and the Sharp Edge are the best
buffalo bites from the Sharp Edge with blue cheese dipping sauce and celery
the Cobb salad at Gullifteys; ditto their chocolate coconut pie
any kind of pie
Giant Eagle's Gorgonzola dip
fresh-from-the-garden tomatoes
salt and vinegar potato chips
dark chocolate
Breadworks' green olive foccaccia
steamed crabs at Grabbe's
bacon
McDonald's French fries
Zitner's Butter Krak eggs
Philadelphia soft pretzels and a Coca-Cola Slurpee