Wednesday, May 03, 2006

YOU WORE FLIP-FLOPS TO THE WHITE HOUSE?????!!!!!!!

If your head is very big, wear one of those fitted ball caps. Because if you have one with an adjustable band in the back? Everyone can STILL see your bald spot.

Women should NEVER wear one of those foam-and-net ball caps that feature companies like John Deere or the local plumber.

Joke, your mission, should you choose to accept it…
Three out of four men who wear ties tie them too short.

Men should not wear flip-flops. Ever.
For that matter, I am sick to death of flip-flops being considered footwear suitable for all occasions. Feet are ugly, people. I am sick of looking at ‘em.

Also SICK OF BRA STRAPS.

Long toenails are GROSS. I don’t care if there is polish on them.

Yesterday on the bus, there was this dude with long, very pretty strawberry-blonde hair, nicely shaped eyebrows, a clean and trimmed Van Dyke, and reasonable sideburns. All in all, a great hair thing going on. But he had freakishly large ears. So sad.

Because I? Am a paragon of fashion.
And feel better about myself as even this skinny-yet-horribly-hairdo’ed model can’t pull off the wrap dress.

17 comments:

Sarah Louise said...

Define flip flops. Because sandals are different, methinks...as are mules and nice slip ons from Talbot...

I think the whole flip flops at the White House was a slow news day, personally. I mean, people were dying in Darfur that day, I'm sure.

jess said...

I think flip flops are pretty unsightly myself. I own a pair for wearing at the beach and the river and for mucky things where I can rinse my feet afterwards, like gardening. They're uncomfortable - as in they provide no support for one's foot - so I don't see why people wear so much of them. Slides & sandals are totally different - they provide a note of class with similar exposure to the air.

I HATE long nails in general, esp. toes.

Also? The camisoles that women wear in public that look like part of a nightie or lingerie. NO. NOT IN PUBLIC.

Joke said...

I'm WAY the wrong person to ask for a charotable view on sandals, thonged footwear, flipflops, etc.

And from where I sit, most guys wear their ties too long. No matter, the tie ought stop at the trouser waistband.

-J.

Badger said...

You can have my flip-flops when you pry them from my cold, dead feet.

BabelBabe said...

I guess I overreacted. I wear flip-flops. Nice neat little black ones. For casual wear. But the people where I work? Wear flip-flops I would not wear in the shower. Remember the scene in Bull Durham where Kevin Costner is grossed out by Tim Robbins' shower shoes? Think of that. That's what I look at, at work. And flip flops, do not, contrary to what I see, go with everything. Sometimes a nice sandal or even - gasp - closed-toe shoe is necessary or appropriate.

That's all I'm saying.

But I stick to the Men should never ever wear flip flops statement. Unless they are in the shower.

Cari said...

I just bought an adorable pair of flip-flops from Anne Taylor Loft...pink with striped ribbons....and my runner's feet are ugly... oh well.

Joke said...

Just the sound of flipflops scuffing as the wearer walks is enough to gnarl my naughty bits.

I cannot express my distaste for them in strong enough terms.

-J.

Carolyn said...

I don't wear flip flops but they are big at my daughter's school.

My personal fashion peeve is the woman with the cling-knit pants that hug her every cellulite bump. A little bit baggy is sometimes a good thing.

blackbird said...

Wow.
That model's ass looks big in that dress (she says whilst quietly unpacking her flip flops).

blackbird said...

oh, and?
at the office?
no toes in any shoes, ever.
and NO armpits.

BabelBabe said...

I just said that in my email to you. My beef is with people thinking flip flops are acceptable EVERYWHERE.

I wear my flip flops to the park, or around home, or to the zoo - I DO NOT wear them to work.

And Cari - my runner's feet are ugly too. Pumice and lotion, pumice and lotion. I am as maniacal as Badger is about her regular skincare regimen as I am in my footcare regimen. But my knees are threatening to punk out...

Sarah Louise said...

When I worked at Fox Books in Dahntahn Pittsburgh, women could only wear nylons, not socks. Denim shirts were even not allowed. So imagine my shock when bare legs were allowed at Fox Books in Virginia. When I was a library intern, I couldn't wear jeans, but I could wear shorts. Now, I can wear pretty much anything...which can be scary, except that most folks dress pretty well, though.

Sarah Louise said...

But I do wear sandals to work. Yes, toes. Bite me! I agree with sleeves, though. There must be a sleeve!

Badger said...

The Diamancel #11 file works way better than pumice. And it will last you a lifetime.

I'm just sayin'.

My float said...

This whole casual dress thing at work - armpits, flip flops - has just gone too darn far!

My pet hate at this second is the wearing of a bra with off the shoulder tops. What is that??

julia said...

Cute thong sandals are a whole other kettle of a different colour to those horrid plastic things you buy for $2 at K-Mart. Cute ones I will do, but only after pumicing and lotioning, lotioning and pumicing and then some judicious application of polish. Honest.

Oh, and birkenstocks. Do those fall into the forbidden flip flop category?

kilowatthour said...

ohmygod alien long toenails are the worst! and then people get those french tip things on them? and i retch uncrontrollably.