Friday, December 07, 2007

"I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies!" *

Let’s do some math, shall we? (Because I was first a drama major, and then a post-bacc studying English lit, and then a librarian, so I am not very good at this and could use some input.)

Counting backwards:

February 8, 2008 – My due date (more or less, based upon my best guess, and lazy record-keeping from date of last period (sorry, Joke))

January 21-25, 2008: H’s Very Important Conference in sunny California (at least a six-hour flight, not counting security, check-in, etc., or possible weather delays on this end)

October 10, 2005: Terzo’s due date, for comparison’s sake
September 27, 2005: Terzo’s actual arrival date (almost 2 full weeks early, and after a scant five hours of labor, and thirty minutes pushing, so as you can see H has not a snowball's chance in hell of getting back in time for the actual birth even if I call him the second my water breaks (sorry, Joke).)

2: Number of friends who have graciously and sincerely volunteered to come to the delivery room with me should I go into labor while H is gone (and we all know that’s EXACTLY what will happen, yes?)

1: Number of husbands who may very well be told to just remain in CA for the rest of the conference as I will be in the hospital for a few days anyway (although I suppose someone has to watch the other three...)

To be completely fair and upfront:
Dec 6 or 7, 2000: Primo’s due date (again, more or less, due to faulty recordkeeping and general slackness on my part regarding recording either/both my menstrual cycles and my sex life)
December 11: Actual arrival, after twelve hours of labor and forty minutes pushing

March 23rdish, 2003: Segundo’s due date
April 1, 2003: Arrival date, after about ten hours of labor and fifteen minutes pushing

1: Number of mother-in-laws who will NOT be called until AFTER I have given birth
1: (Realized with great relief) Number of mother-in-laws who will be in Florida from January till March

As I read these stats:
1: Number of BabelBabes totally built for childbearing (good Eastern European peasant stock and all...)

Shame I am not as good at the actual mothering part. Oh well. That’s what therapists are for, right?

For those of you bored with me wittering away about my children (God knows *I* am...), a book post is forthcoming.
But first I get to go away from my children for something like 18 hours, as H has a gig tonight and we have a babysitter overnight. Yay, me! Would it be totally terrible to skip the gig altogether, call room service, and curl up in bed with one of the very good books I am currently reading?


* Prissy, in "Gone with the Wind"


Anonymous said...

It would be terrible if you didn't.

Anonymous said...

Also: Ma says that if you put a knife under the bed, it cuts the pain in two.

Peg said...

I love hearing about the boys as much as I respect your opinion on books. Please do not stop sharing either of them with us.

blackbird said...

You wrote this post for me, didn't you?

Caro said...

I love hearing about your kids more than any of the other stuff. So there.

And I'm with you on being good at the birthing, not so good at the mothering.

Child 1 - 12 hours
Child 2 - 3 hours
Child 3- Born 45 minutes after I hit the hospital.

KPB said...

I would be there in a minute.

I might not be having any more children, but what I'd give to be at the birth of eleventy gagillion more.

O - three hour labour
F - 45 minutes after inducing labour
J - waters broke, 3 hours later labour kicked in, 45 minutes later he was out.
G - see J.

I do 45 minutes well.

Velma said...

I don't do 45 minutes, but I do convection oven style baby-growin'! #1 was 6 weeks early (5 lbs. 8 oz.) and #2 was 5 weeks early (5 lbs. 14 oz.), and no NICU for either. So, if you were me? You'd be gearing up for Baby in the next few weeks!