Friday, August 17, 2007

Pokemon...are anything but innocent - they are a foreign-made manual of perversion...designed to lure kids away from God. - Tristan Shuddery

My little Pokémon fiends are off evolving and attacking and doing whatever else it is that those little Pokémon dudes do.

There are somewhere around 450 Pokémon, each one with special powers and evolved forms - each of which Seg and especially Primo can tell you about in detail. I can name about twelve. Invariably pronounced incorrectly. Even so, I do have my favorites.

Of course, everyone’s favorite is little yellow Pikachu.

I also happen to enjoy Tentacool

who evolves into Tentacruel.

Mewtwo is a catty little pistol (pun intended), cloned from the more innocuous Mew Pokémon, who hangs out with the “bad guys” and cracks me up.

Jigglypuff is so unthreatening as to be laughable. He sings his opponents to sleep.

Psyduck just makes me laugh. His special powers are initiated via headaches.

As does the description of Golduck, his evolved form:
“a stronger, larger, faster and more intelligent evolution of Psyduck.”

Um, my GOLDFISH is a larger, faster, and more intelligent evolution of Psyduck, for God’s sake.

The game itself actually appears to be a lot of fun, and requires some serious strategy and planning. The rules are fairly complicated, but the two oldest seem to have them down pat. (Terzo merely contents himself with wandering around and shouting, “Pikachu!” every so often, at the top of his lungs.)

A trip to the grocery store to purchase another starter deck so that they all have enough energy cards to play a decent game has resulted in QUIET in my house – for hours at a time.

Turns out, though, that Pokemon is "The Yellow Peril."

Even so, I wish I had discovered Pokémon in June.
Maybe next summer I can try some "crack-cocaine."


Gina said...

I always liked Oddish, who is much like a very sute radish.

You should make an effort to get some of the old videos of the cartoon, because it's (unintentionally, I assume) hilarious. "Team Rocket's blasting off agaiiiiin!"

Good times.

Gina said...

Oh, and I just followed that link. Do you think it's a joke? Because, wow. WOW!

Katy said...

I read the entirety of the link, and the whole time, I figured that she must be kidding, because who actually thinks and writes like that, but no, I do believe that she is serious.

But still, I laugh at her. I didn't realize that Pokemon was so popular with the 3-6 set, but yes, as it is, I agree that it is unfortunate that you didn't get it earlier in the summer.

I used to have a Pikachu doll that giggled and said Pikachu. If I ever find it (I think that I donated it to the Salvation Army in Pittsburgh) I will send it to your boys.

pussreboots said...

I was into Pokemon back in the late 1990s and then completely forgot about them until about 2 years ago when my then 3 year old was suddenly into them. We now own most of 1st season on DVD, a few toys, some books and games. Fortunately he lets me play with the games too! :)

Iamthebookworm said...

Other than Pikachu, my nephew likes Turtwig and Onyx. And I'm SURE that I am spelling those wrong!

Iamthebookworm said...

I just read the link. That was a little disturbing. I thought it was a joke, but I REALLY don't think it is.

Suse said...

"Designed to lure kids away from god."

My first reaction was "oh for Christ's sake!" but I think I should change that to "of for fuck's sake". More appropriate.

Anonymous said...

what Suse said.

Or perhaps even "Oh for psyduck's sake" because whenever I see him (hellooo - 5 yo boy in the house, we LOVE Pokemon) I think he's a platypus.

Which means suse and I can claim him as, like, our totem, or maybe our defender against lunatic religious fanatics...

Kathy said...

I just followed that link and was completely amazed. First at the entry itself -- it was really hard for me to believe she was serious, but I think she is == then at the comments. Only a couple of people were upset that she didn't seem to know that Winnie the Pooh was based on Milne's books. Everyone else was upset because she called Pokemon "Hentai." (sp).

Joke said...

There are far better reasons to hate Pokemon that pseudo-blasphemy.


P.S. I refer you to South Park's parody thereof.

Caro said...

Jigglypuff would be great around here for the kids' bedtimes.