Wednesday, March 12, 2008

"...because the world's a horrible place, because it didn't give us everything we cried for."*

He’s NOT hungry. He nursed for almost an hour, draining both boobs, just before we left.

He’s NOT poopy. In fact, that may be the problem as he’s having trouble pooping, and you know, pooping is sort of an important life skill to learn.

He’s NOT hot.

OR cold.

He HASN’T been in the car seat all that long.

I ALREADY cut the tags out of his clothes, and he isn’t wearing socks.

So, yes, to the grandmotherly woman behind me in the grocery store, and everyone else glaring at me because my baby is screaming at the top of his lungs – I ADMIT IT.

I PINCHED HIM.

Isn’t THAT what you wanted to hear?

Sheesh.

*****************

*John Lennon

7 comments:

blackbird said...

Back in the day, grandmotherly types used to ask if maybe a diaper pin was sticking him...

Liz said...

I knew it all along.

Caro said...

Wow a baby screaming at the store! I always glare at people whose babies are screaming because that has NEVER happened to me. My kids are perfect angels and I'm a perfect mother. What's the matter with you? Yeesh!

SJ had lots of trouble pooping when he was little too. While I don't have advice for that, playing (ugh) kids' music in the car while driving down the road, helped with the screaming. You may prefer screaming.

Sarah O. said...

Hello, cranky old ladies of the world. Babies cry. DEAL with it.

My then-baby daughter had a lot of trouble pooping. The pediatritian insisted every time I called him - problably a dozen times - that it was perfectly OK that my baby hadn't pooped in A WEEK. Turns out he must have been right because all was back to normal within a couple of days. Just thought I'd share the good times.

Suse said...

I find playing grown ups music while driving, helps with the screaming.

Son #1 only used to poo every ten days. Sons #2 and 3 poohed ten times a day. I know which I preferred.

Sarah Louise said...

I'm gonna call CYS on you...

or maybe not. But oh my. A crying baby.

And wow, you cut the tags out? You ARE a good momma. Did you show *that* to the glaring grandmother type?

Velma said...

Geez, I didn't cut the tags out until I began suspecting that Peanut might be autistic. Screw Grandma - you are all over that shit.

Good luck getting ready for the party!