Saturday, July 08, 2006

In the pregnancy process I have come to realize how much of the burden is on the female partner. - Al Roker

Clearly Al Roker is a STUPID big fat annoying man...the ellipseseseseses are back, because I can't be bothered to write a proper entry today...so sorry...um, so, it’s Saturday...here I am at work…had a good, not great, run this morning, which is bound to happen when you haven’t run for a week...the bus took a VERY unexpected detour this morning and I thought I had reality-jumped into the movie “Speed”...I was NOT reassured by the sight of city environmental services trucks in the closed-off side streets….I just found out that there was a 4-alarm fire that closed Fifth Ave...I have upgraded from a grande to a venti latte these days...I have been at work for an hour and haven’t had a question yet...why am I here?...Seg’s at swim lessons even as I type, and I will bet the water is freezing...he has been practicing “airplane arms” lying on the floor or the ground all week long...he’s really freakingly unbearably cute when he does this...there’s a gigantic drill down the street, burrowing into rock for the foundation for the new student union-y building, and I can hear it IN HERE...yes, it’s rhythmic and going to drive me bonkers...I finished Julie & Julia last night, enjoyed it very much...it made me want to cook things...I thought I’d finish reading The Plague but eh...already ditched the Ken Follett “thriller”...no idea what was supposed to be so thrilling, especially since, you know, people in real life have died of Ebola and that’s not thrilling, it’s tragic and messy...so I considered starting Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian because Lazy Cow liked it but instead I thought I’d better finish the book I have on interlibrary loan...have I mentioned before that I can’t read on the bus, it makes me ill...my co-worker and friend L lent me a copy of a magazine that is very much like my much-beloved and sadly now-defunct Book magazine...so my list of to-read books continues to grow exponentially and I am very sad that I am going to die before I get to read everything I want to...took Terzo for his nine-month check-up yesterday; The Baby is gigantic, he weighs 23 pounds, 4 ounces, and is in the 95% for height...I swear to you that he ate two bowls of leek and potato soup for dinner last night...did I tell you about the five pierogies he ate last week one night for dinner?...he’s ahead of the curve on the standing/cruising/walking thing, according to his pediatrician...of course he is, he has two older brothers to keep up with...Seg has asked that I go to the hospital and bring back another brother, called Thomas...Primo requests a girl “from your belly next time” so he can call her Annika, like in Pippi Longstocking...oh, the innocence of youth...H admits that if we could just GET a baby he’d like to have another, it’s the nine months of pregnancy that is holding him up...HE’s telling ME?...OHMYFUCKINGGOD a patron just asked me if I was having a little boy or a little girl...so I start thinking, if I look pregnant, perhaps I should just BE pregnant...No! No no no no no no no. NO. This way madness lies...Gina, slap me!....did I mention I ran THREE MILES this morning? And did thirty sit-ups?...I do thirty sit-ups every day, for all the good they do. My flab resides atop solid muscle...Primo is having his cousins sleep over tonight, he is planning a marathon Monopoly tournament and a viewing of “The Great Muppet Caper”...they are making pizza for dinner, with “boxed” chicken nuggets and red grapes...quite the menu planner, my little Primo...he even used his own cash, from his piggy bank, to buy little prizes for the Monopoly game, is that adorable?...I have to go drown myself now. And anyway, I didn’t find out what I was having any of the times I actually WAS pregnant...And in the immortal words of Dave Barry, “You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.”

16 comments:

Miz S said...

Oh my God, we need to do an intervention here.

Joke said...

Have you considered decaf?

-J.

weirdbunny said...

Gwenny always asks me if I'm pregnant, I always reply no, she always pokes my tummy and say's in disbelief, well mummy you must be.

Carolyn said...

I agree that the baby should be emerging for people to ask that question!

Three kids put me over the edge.

Kudos to you if you can manage a fourth without going stark, raving bonkers.

You could have a Thomas or Thomasina, though I'm sure it would be a Thomas.

Lazy cow said...

Love the streamofconsciousness. Although, that's the way I *talk* most of the time. Have some more caffeine.
What is it about 5 year olds and spending their *own* money? It drives me crazy.

Sarah Louise said...

If I hadn't just settled in, I'd come over and give you a hug now! (now that I'm warm and rum and Coked up.)

And I think you look amazing and not in the least pregnant.

At least I assume you stayed at work your entire shift, as opposed to Miss Cramps, moi. Sometimes it's just babysitting the books.

SL

Oh, and heaven will be a library, so you won't have to worry 'bout finishing before you die... (Borges)

My float said...

You're scaring me BabelBabe! Having said that, can I suggest that perhaps next time someone asks you if you're pregnant, just look them in the eye and say, "Funny you should ask, actually I gave birth last week and sold the baby to Brad and Angelina. But thanks for asking!"

I agree with you about the Julie/Julia Project. Except for the gross bits like the lobster (I'll never look at another lobster the same way again!!)

blackbird said...

I had no idea you were only a grande.
lightweight.

I would never for a moment think you look pregnant - and that's no reason to do it again either.
(you do tend to fondle baby clothes though, I've seen it)

wv -tvvwvwe, which is just cruel on a sunday.

Surfing Free said...

It is sooo unfair that you have babies and then for the rest of your life look like you are about to have more!!! Why why does the baby go and leave behind a solid slab of fat that was never there before? Is there a doctor in the house because I really want that explained as well...

Umm .. sorry.

I can't read on a bus either :) A terrible waste I think, but you can't fight it.

jess said...

I am perpetually looking five months pregnant. What babies do to a once flat tummy is underwhelming.

Peg said...

You pitty, Mama.

Screw 'em.

Joke said...

I heard on NPR that not reading while on public transportation makes women look pregnant.

-Mr. Helpful

Amy A. said...

Are you a reference librarian who actually likes to help people? I've never met one of you. If I was your patron, I would bring you coffee and gifts and not ask stupid, nosey questions. You would be my hero!

BabelBabe said...

Peg - I love you. You made me laugh. That is all.

SL - great quote. I need it on a bumper sticker. And a T-shirt.

SF - It *IS* a waste, isn't it? So glad someone understands!
Joke, you suck.

And Amy, you are welcome in my library anytime you wish.

the rest fo you - not to worry. H informed that I am too fat to be attractive, so no sex=no babies, so I AM SAFE. Fear no more, my loyal readers. I stop at three. Which actually feels RIGHT.

Joke said...

Imagine if he had said something about reading on the bus. The police would found him in 83 separate Mason jars.

-J.

Joke said...

Hey! Waitaminnit...how about audio books on the bus?

That has no adverse effects AND you can shut your eyes. (I dunno that you'd want to shut your eyes, but whatever.)

-J.