I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty. - Imelda Marcos

I am having shoe issues. I am thinking entirely too much about my footwear these days. (Wait till the bathing suit purchasing begins - if you think I am obsessing about shoes. BUT -- there will be NO photographs with that post.)

I wear these shoes a lot. Like all the time.
I bought them at Kmart five years ago – they’re Thom McAn - but only started wearing them recently, once I realized that, though they are red, they do indeed go with pretty much everything and have the added bonus of making me look all boho and hip and stuff. They are very comfy, I can walk in them (crucial when you bus it to work), and they don’t smell because I can spray the Dr Scholl’s foot-smell stuff in them thoroughly and easily.



My Op sneakers, despite having been washed and sprayed numerous times, must be thrown away because they REEK. This is a shame as they are kicky and sporty and cute. And comfy and cool (as in temperature). But they really truly do smell like something died inside them. And make my closet smell the same.



I wear my Tevas often - especially when I want to feel leggy and athletic and fit - "Yes, I have been white-water rafting!" - but the fact that the straps are too short bothers me more than it used to. And I have been having clothing-irritation issues, and when that happens, my Tevas start pissing me off because they CHAFE my feet. Especially around my ankles. I know I am weird, don’t look at me like that.

I toyed with the idea of Birkenstocks but can’t see my way clear to spending that kind of cash on them. I just don’t like them all that much – not a hundred-plus bucks worth - and plus, I hear you have to break them in, and I am not interested in breaking anything in. Except maybe flip-flops (See below). Kilowatthour had a cute pair of Mephisto sandals on her site the other day, but for this summer, I am afraid I must stick with my Jesus sandals. They were bought when I was hugely pregnant, with swollen feet, last summer. So they are comfy but ug-uh-ly!


I have an inordinate number of running shoes - something like six pairs? Some reserved purely for running, some are “dress” running shoes, some are for when I am painting or doing yard work – I don’t pitch them till they are quite literally falling apart. I only wear Adidas. And I don't wear them so much during the summer, as they can be hot. Except of course when I run during the summer. I am aiming for four times a week right now. Four times a week of sweaty, smelly feet in running shoes. These are my current favorite pair:



My Doc Marten boots, which I bought in London in 99 and my mother told me they were the ugliest shoes she’d ever seen, and my Doc oxfords which I bought shortly thereafter since the boots were so comfortable and utilitarian - also very hot and seldom worn in the summer. I wear them ALOT in the winter, though.



I *used* to LIVE in these, in high school – with the laces tied in those little knots on each side, and then also in college. (My mother deemed them hideous. She HATED them. No idea why she bought them for me...?) I wore them with jeans, shorts, skirts. But they offer no arch support whatsoever, so they went away shortly after I got old enough to need arch support. Like when I was spending all day on my feet, painting, to, you know, make money to pay rent and whatnot.



These slingback pumps are the most comfortable sexy shoes I own – very pretty and stylish, and I truly needed a pair of wearable and pretty black heels to go with various dresses and skirts, but can’t really wear them to work everyday, or to the playground, or the zoo. I’ll bet H wishes I’d wear them around the house, swishing the feather duster and wearing a little apron – and people in hell wish for ice water. Instead, I tend towards these as my default around-the-house footwear:I have/had two pairs, but can’t find the old ones, which are more comfy as they're already broken in. I faintly remember putting them SOMEWHERE so I could slip them on to wear into the basement when it flooded recently, but now have no recollection of what clever place I chose.


I like the cute little LL Bean sneakers, but for some reason sneakers cut like this always hurt my feet, usually up around my big toe-knuckle (Is there a real term for that?) I bought a pair in Paris because my flat strappy leather sandals were just not cutting it, walking around on the marble floors of the Louvre all day – but they were almost worse. And certainly looked worse. And does anything scream “American tourist” more than a pair of sneakers, no matter how cute?



I considered buying Crocs - everyone's wearing them. R up at the coffee shop told me they are "heaven on your feet." So I bought a pair a few weeks ago - going through my usual shoe-buying angst of "Did I buy too big? Too small? Wrong color?" etc. - and have worn them pretty much constantly since, including to work with skirts. I wear them with the strap around the back, but you can flip it forward. They are VERY light, comfy, and are supposed to be some sort of antibacterial material so won't smell. They are also cheap, cheap, cheap - so I may go buy a pair in green.
I *thought* I just couldn’t do colored shoes – I am *still* recovering from my high school days when my mother bought me shoes to match.every.single.outfit. Gah! WHAT was she thinking? I remember yellow gladiator sandals, red pointy-toed, cross-strap flats, navy Gloria Vanderbilt peep-toe pumps, white strappy sandals, various black shoes, little white Keds canvas sneakers...the very memory makes me shudder. So black Crocs it is.


Then I was considering these: I think the regular Keen sandals that everyone is sporting these days are HIDEOUS. That big rubber toe thing reminds me of a pair of Nikes I had in junior high. Total dorkdom. That was me, Miss Total Dork.But someone at the coffee shop was wearing this version, and I think they are so very cute. And probably just as comfy as the regular ones. (She said her kids hated them, and begged her not to wear them, but who listens to their kids anyway?)



I guess I do, sometimes. Primo picked these out:But I wound up returning them. I think they’re adorable, they made my calves look fabulous – as in NOT the Eastern European peasant calves that they really are - but they are just so NOT ME. I just could not bring myself to wear them outside the house. I think you must agree.

So - you see, I am a shoe schizophrenic. And I am fickle. Oh so fickle.
How do men do it? My husband gets by with - let me see - he recently bought two - TWO - pairs of shoes AT ONCE, an unprecedented feat (haha!) of shopping for him - so that brings his grand shoe total up to ---
SIX pairs of shoes.

His sneakers.
His brown leather casual moccasin-types for work.
His sandals.
His black dress shoes.
His brown dress shoes.

Oops. Five.

FIVE.

FIVE.

How does he do it?