It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right...

Ergh! The old SAHM-versus-working mom debate rears its ugly head again in this article on Salon: A new magazine, Total 180, is targeted at moms who have "opted out." But its pages are full of despairing screams, no sex, and women who are "let out" weekly by husbands. I had to write a letter. Ergh and double ergh! Why can't we all just GET ALONG?

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This article on Salon by Anne Lamotte, who I want to adore but don’t, had me completely perplexed. Read it and see. I don’t get the point. But I did love this quote:
Start behaving well, and you will feel better. This is what Jesus would want… His message is that we're all sort of nuts and suspicious and petty and full of crazy hungers, and it all feels awful a lot of the time, but even so -- one's behavior needs to be decent.

In the same vein:
The sermon on Sunday was about John the Baptist. Bruce (our priest) pointed out that it wasn’t John the Methodist, or John the Episcopalian, but specifically John the Baptist. Who called for burning the chaff with inextinguishable fire and cutting down and burning trees to “make ready the way of the Lord.” (Matthew 3:1-12)
Those Baptists – full of finesse. As always.

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I FINALLY got sheers on one window (of two) in the living room. I dragged all three boys to Bed Bath and Beyond (ever see that Mother Goose and Grimm comic strip where they explore the “beyond” part?) to buy these but of course they were not in stock, they can only be ordered online, something you’d think the website would tell you. So I bought these instead, because damn it, I was not going home without sheers. I hung them up without ironing them; if I ever iron them, they’ll look even better. And then I went online and ordered one of the first panels for the entryway window instead.

I also bought one oven mitt, one of those silicone jobbies in blue, because I am sick to death of burning myself with my ten-year-old oven mitts on. I wanted two oven mitts but they’re twenty bucks a piece. I couldn’t see my way clear to spending forty dollars on a pair of oven mitts. Especially since nine times out of ten I forget to take the oven mitts down to the basement where the stove currently resides (don’t ask) and wind up using an old dishcloth from the rag bin anyway to pull hot stuff out of the oven.

And the boys were entranced by these. So I bought one. Because they’re cute. And so were my boys. And good - they were good boys. While I banged my head against the wall shopping for curtains.

I want one of these – maybe for my birthday? And if I had more counter space, I’d want one of these too.

I wish I could figure out the optimal placement for the things I consider necessary on my countertop - my blue Kitchenaid mixer, the microwave, the knife block, a jar of measuring spoons, the toaster, the banana basket, the cutting boards, the pitcher full of spatulas and wooden spoons, and because we own a very ornamental coffeemaker, that as well. Perhaps one of these would help organization. Or maybe it would just make it worse. I could completely get behind putting the toaster in the cabinet each morning, but my husband would not. So I guess this paragraph answers that “beyond” part.

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We got a big box of Christmassy crap from an old neighbor yesterday. She means well, and it was fun to unwrap everything, but basically she cleaned out her attic and mailed it to us. Yarn-and-plastic-canvas tree ornaments, ceramic reindeer and Santa boots, red votives, a Christmas tablecloth with poinsettias all over it, a Nutcracker snow globe…the boys decked out their room with all the stuff and are now completely in the Christmas spirit.

I scored homemade chocolate-covered pretzels and socks that say “Go away, I’m reading!” Which I will wear with my shirt that says, “Go to hell, I’m reading.” Which might cause my children to say again, as they have in the past, “Will someone put their book down and PLAY with us?”

Which also reminds me, I want to read this book.

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Today is Saint Nicholas’s Day. Primo came home from preschool with a little wooden top that he had received in his shoe…as if we need ANOTHER gift-giving occasion. But my husband rose to the occasion admirably. He helped the boys leave their sneakers in the entryway, and when they woke up this morning they found a quarter in one shoe and a brand new guitar pick in the other! Mama got a teabag and a dollar; all Daddy got was sticks! Because that’s what naughty people get! Which the boys thought was freaking hilarious.

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Snippets:

My father would have been 75 this past Sunday, December 4. He’s been gone almost 18 years. Happy Birthday, Dad. I love you and think of you often.

Primo received this Bible from my crazy-evangelical-fundamentalist-Christian cousin Ginny when he was a baby. Dan wanted me to get rid of it but I couldn't see my way clear to ditching a Bible, any sort of Bible, regardless of how badly translated. Primo picked it up yesterday morning and read it all afternoon. He came to me at 7 p.m. and said, "Boy am I tired! I read the whole Bible today!"

Note to self: blow-dry hair COMPLETELY before venturing outside in the 20-degree weather.

And would someone please explain how and/or why these college kids walk around in this weather hatless, gloveless, wearing only a sweatshirt or an unzipped jacket, in flip-flops? I mean, I guess I did the same – I don’t think I even owned an umbrella until last year, but does your cold sensitivity go up as you grow older, or do you just get smarter?

I am SO not giving up these boobs. Terzo will be nursing till he goes to college. Whether he likes it or not.

The guy from housekeeping knocked on the door of the staff bathroom as I was pumping this morning. He wanted to restock paper towels and toilet paper. I stopped to go out and explain that I was pumping – like he’d know what that was, not that I volunteered to explain further – and then I got all tense and nervous, thereby effectively stopping any further milk flow. God, how I hate pumping.

I oh so wish I had had my camera with me! Last week was the library’s twice-a-year Scholastic book sale. As part of the festivities, the organizer had people in costume as children’s book characters like Clifford the Big Red Dog and Charlie Brown running around.
On a large cardboard box in the periodicals area was a label that read:
Clifford the Big Red Dog
Box contains:
Clifford’s head
Clifford’s body

Check out the DuPont Registry gift cars of 2006. (I am sure Joke already knows all about the DuPont registry, hmm?) I like the Hennessey Venom 1000 (I have always liked Dodge Vipers, except for the Dodge part…) and the 1965 Shelby Sunbeam Tiger – gorgeous! (And 14 thousand is NOTHING for a full fire engine!)

Speaking of, I went virtual Christmas shopping yesterday for all my Internet friends. I had a blast doing this because there are no money considerations. How liberating to shop with unlimited funds, however virtual they may be. Gina, in particular, benefits from this perk.
So, my blog buddies, I will be distributing your virtual presents shortly, early, to beat the holiday rush. Merry Virtual Christmas!