Oh Molly, no we don't. Welcome to my world.
Simon: Jude, I am going to tell you whose world it’s going to be today.
Jude: OK, Dyman.
Si: It’s going to be MY world today. And forever!
So, wonderful, I’ve given birth to Dr. Evil.
Is that feeling of doom and dread and exhaustion I feel in the pit of my stomach every Monday morning at the thought of a whole day with the hoodlums normal? Or should I look into stronger medication, perhaps the Zoloft and some Valium washed down with a nice glass of straight alcohol of some sort? Oh wait, I am pregnant. Dammit. Maybe I could just bang my head against the wall until I am unconscious?
If I weren’t getting a blow-by-blow description of the current activity, I might be able to cope. But I defy you to listen to hours of the following sort of monologue and maintain sanity:
“Blue crayon, Mama. Black crayon, Mama. Mama. Dyman took crayon, Mama. Dyman! No, Dyman! Mama! Mommee! Oh wow. Mama. Me eat now, Mama. Me find my Wiggles tellering book, Mama. Purple tellering book, Mama. Mama. Oh wow. Piece of toast, Mama! Red crayon, Mama. Mama, red crayon peeled. Mama.”
I can’t form a coherent thought anymore. (Isn’t this blog proof of that?)
And I now *completely* sympathize with my husband’s cousin who one day had had enough and exploded: “Jake! You may call me Sheila. You may call me Mrs. Evans. You may call me Yo. You may call me Hey you! But if you call me Mommy ONE MORE TIME, I am not to be held responsible for my actions!” Remember the days when we longed to hear the word Mama fall from their cute little pink bow-lips?
I am *this* close to getting rid of our TV. If I hear the phrase, “Watch movie, Mama?” one more time, I am calling AmVets and having them take it away. Family Guy, INXS, and hockey season be damned.
11 comments:
"Dyman." I can think they're cute, because they aren't mine! :-)
It's going to be hot today. You need to either embrace your television and make slushees or get thee to a swimming pool.
Do you have a video camera? If you hook it up to the TV so the boys can watch themselves play, you can sit back and relax for hours. Seeing themselves on TV is like magic for kids.
Please do not bang your head against a wall until you pass out, as you may crack the plaster or even create a blood stain--and you have enough work to do as it is.
"Dyman," indeed. I love those kids. I myself would give anything to see one of the pictures that Jude has finished in his "tellering book."
No, in all sincerity, I do hope this day goes relatively hassle-free, at least the rest of it. Motherhood is the least respected profession, I'm sure of it. Don't ever stop writing about it, though, both for the sake of your sanity and the sheer amusement of the rest of us. :)
Aaah. The incessant talking. I am taking my son to the doctor this week, because his speech seems delayed. Then I read your posts and wonder, is this a bad thing?
Carolyn: My son's speech also seemed delayed and I was really worried. Then some kid said this to him, "What -- are you stupid? You can't talk?" He said, "I can talk" and he hasn't shut up since and he's 20! If I could find that kid, I'd throttle him! :)
Carolyn, we were worried about jude's talking because si started talking at about a year and hasn't stopped. most days i feel as if i am conversing with another adult - except for the subject matter, that is. Then jude actually started talking and hasn't shut up yet. Ongoing monologue all day and into the night. The only time he shuts up is when he's asleep. thank god for naps.
hmmmmm I wonder if ear plugs would work at all?
I feel duty bound to type:
"Watch movie, Mama?"
Just to see if anything happens.
I recommend just showing up at a friends house with your kids in tow. Maybe there are people out there not sick of kids yet.
It could happen.
I think that David just volunteered to babysit. You know where he lives and works, right?
They sound frustrating to listen to, you have my sympathies, even though my most extended experience with small children has been 12 years of babysitting. Maybe if you put on an audiobook you could tell them that they can't talk when someone is reading a story.
David, my head has just imploded. Happy?
and Peg, I would be happy to send you a finished picture. In fact, i can send you an entire crate of used-up tellering books. Because the boys refuse to let me throw them out, and demand more constantly. And yes, I know, coloring books are supposed to stifle creativity but my boys LOVE coloring books. and they're still plenty creative, even though I feel guilty for buying into pop culture and purchasng Bob the Builder and Nemo coloring books.
I have a lovely picture Si drew on his own, of me with him on my lap and Jude in my tummy, with huge eyeballs and stick legs protruding. It's framed on my bedroom wall. So talk to me about stifled creativity - Ha!
Happy, no.
But this is the price of science.
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