I don’t know why I thought that the (I assume) educated, crunchy, environmentally conscious, probably upper-middle-class sort of people who might participate in the Community Agriculture co-op program would NOT stoop to stealing other people’s veggies and fruit – call me naïve, call me stupid. Today I went at 430 to pick up our loot and every single crate there, about a dozen, had the exact same things in it – except ours and one other family’s. We happened to both be missing a cantaloupe. Coincidentally, we were both on the bottom of the crate piles too. Hmmm. You can’t convince me that one single cantaloupe is the difference between the program that serves 2-4 people and the one that serves 4-6. And I could not bring myself to swipe some other poor soul’s cantaloupe, even though I ADORE cantaloupe and was hoping all week there’d be some this week. The one last week was amazing. I am sadly disappointed and more than a little pissed off.
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I had my monthly OB visit this morning. The baby’s head is on my left, his butt on my right, and – bad news – his back is down. He still isn’t flipped. Now my doc said that they don’t start being concerned until the 36th week (well, good, that’s one of us anyway), but if he doesn’t flip and the “measures” they take don’t work, they will not deliver a breech baby vaginally. So if he doesn’t flip, after two relatively simple and quickly-recovered-from vaginal births, I am facing possible major surgery in the form of a c-section. I know I will not have much help at all after the birth but I was thinking that since it’s my third, at least I won’t be so clueless and therefore I might be able to hold it together better. If I have to have a c-section, I can’t promise anything.
There have been solutions proposed (or as my OB said mysteriously, “There are things we can try.” Gina pointed out that this sounds like the medical version of “We haff vays uff mekking you TALK.”) Of course the most drastic and so last option is something called a version (aversion?), involving a possible epidural and one doctor with her hands INSIDE ME, and definitely two doctors on the outside, basically forcibly moving said child to where he needs to be. Ooch. The doctor today suggested putting a radio between my legs, because the baby will move towards the sound (is that like, “Move towards the light”?). Besides the obvious humiliation of such a thing, how long must the radio remain there? What station should I tune it to – NPR, classic rock, the baseball game? Does it matter? I mean, *I* love Terry Gross but she might scare my child into a fifty-week gestational period and I don’t think I could handle that. Gina suggested perhaps sitting upon a pizza or some freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies, as maybe the delightful aroma might lure the child out. I am discounting nothing at the moment.
My friend Deb, mother of two and family doc, has recommended some sort of specialist chiropractic procedure, but I am nervous about seeing a chiropractor while pregnant. Other suggestions include yoga, massage, water exercise, acupuncture, back-arching exercises, meditation with candles, standing on my head, and sacrifice of a goat at the full of the moon.
6 comments:
I go for sacrificing the goat -- I hear those always work. Poor Babelbabe. I hope the baby shifts.
I have a sister-in-law who had a c-section with her first one. With her second one, she went through labor for some hours, and then had to have an emergency c-section. She said she would pick c-section over labor anytime. I know someone else who delivered her first c and her second vaginal, and said c was better also. I know that a c-section sounds scary, especially since you know what to expect with a vaginal delivery. If I had my druthers, the baby would just magically appear outside me at the end of nine months, but they never offered me THAT option. Damn Mother Nature, anyway! My third grabbed my bladder on the way out and pulled anyway, I swear, as it hasn't been the same since. Also, he came so fast, my ob didn't show up in time (came as head was crowning) and had neglected to tell me beforehand that he didn't allow any pain meds administered unless HE was there. So what I am saying in my rambling, roundabout way is that even though a c-section isn't your preferred method of delivery, at the end you will still have a beautiful little baby. And Thank God for modern medical technology!
And by the way, the cantaloupe thing would piss me off too. Doubly so, if I were pregnant and had a CRAVING.
And on a literary note... I said the same thing just yesterday but now I can't remember if that's from one of the Henrys or Richard III.
Speaking of Richard III, I did enjoy The Daughter of Time, and I'm a bit bummed because I so love Shakespeare's play! What a wonderful, deliciously awful villain. But now he's not. Reminding us, once again, that history belongs to the winner. But I don't totally agree with that, because Grant got a poor treatment in the history books thanks to Southern politicians who took revenge the only way they could.
Forgive the ramble. It's 8am and I haven't really woken up yet. Turn to the sound, sweet little baby! Classical is always a safe choice, I would think. Don't sit on the pizza and cookies, get them -- but you eat them while sitting on the radio! And here's hoping someone will allow you to enjoy your cantaloupe next week. That's so rude.
It's Henry. Richard was "My kingdom for a horse!"
Here's the full quote:
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more, Or close the wall up with our English dead! In peace there's nothing so becomes a man As modest stillness and humility; But when the blast of war blows in our ears, Then imitate the action of the tiger: Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood.
It's from Henry V which I only know because I've seen Kenneth Branagh's marvelous film version about a gazillion times.
I like Kenneth Branagh and I think my favorite movie of his is that Henry V.
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