“… in which barely clad models dry-hump near a commode while rolls of toilet paper look on, unmoved, as though they’ve seen it all.”

That may be the best sentence fragment I have ever read. Have a look at this luxury toilet paper, which hasn’t yet made a move to the US. I’m as much a sucker for little luxuries as the next girl, but I’m not at all tempted by this—and I care a great deal about bathroom comfort.

I saw monogrammed toilet paper in a catalogue of overpriced home accents once, and thought of how mob families might enjoy wiping their asses with paper featuring their enemies’ initials scrawled in gold, but who else would want that? And what company would want that? Why would Louis Vuitton create something that invites people to smear fecal matter on their logo?

I just don’t get it.