Although common sense may rule out the possibility of time travel, the laws of quantum physics certainly do not.

I am huge, ginormous, and wildly uncomfortable, and I still have ten looooonnnngggg weeks - all with temps in the high nineties, I am sure - to go. My pregnancy-induced acne is back, all over my pasty white shoulders and belly. I drip sweat like I am working in the salt mines (not that I’d FIT in the salt mines…). I have to pee approximately every fifteen minutes. When I sit down, my boobs rest on top of my stomach. I can’t stand to wear a bra but I have to wear something so I resort to those stretchy little tank tops that look so cute when you’re not pregnant and ride up your stomach when you are. Even wearing my waistbands tucked under my stomach is uncomfortable now. I can’t breathe right, in fact, I can’t remember the last time I was able to take a deep breath. I want to nap constantly. I waddle. I have heartburn: Tums are my friend. Why do they only make the orange cream ones in sugar-free? I can’t have sugar-free because they use aspartame and apparently that gives your baby a second head or three eyes or something. I can’t find a comfortable position to sleep in, and if and when I finally do, and I am cool enough to sleep, I HAVE TO PEE AGAIN. Why did I think I wanted another child? (Ok, ok, I really do, but …) What demon possessed me? If I wanted one that badly, heck, I could have just adopted some deserving child from a Third World nation and skipped all this pregnancy shit. I see the OB Friday morning, and if the little booger hasn’t flipped yet, he’s going to be one seriously sorry baby, let me tell you. Because if I have to have a c-section on my THIRD child, I am going to be so pissed. That child will never hear the end of it. Not that I will ever be able to wear a bikini again anyway, but that is SO NOT the point!

Deep breath. Ok, I realize I am being ungrateful, that there are people who can’t even get pregnant to have one child. But damn am I lousy at being pregnant.

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And in the next ungrateful and selfish breath:
Susan Torres died today, a day after giving birth to her daughter. Her doctors removed her life support and she died very shortly thereafter. Torres’ husband Jason is quoted as saying, "We especially thank God for giving us little Susan. My wife's courage will never be forgotten." While I was conflicted about keeping a mother on life support merely to act as an incubator for a fetus, I believe this was handled graciously by everyone concerned. My heart breaks for her children and her husband, and her family. And for her. Rest in peace, Susan.

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Last night’s eleven o’clock network news teaser went something like this: “All passengers aboard a jet survive a fiery crash. Hear how it could have been so much worse!” Am I alone in feeling that it seems as if the news people really *wanted* it to be so much worse because, damn, that would make such a better and more gripping news show? Ghouls.

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I don’t understand this director’s choices at all. The entire damn book (Alan Hollinghurst’s Line of Beauty) is one long, mostly gratuitous, homosexual sex scene. And not romantic, monogamous, softly-lit bedroom sex either. How can you sign onto a project like this if you are made “rather queasy” by gay sex? The book was godawful in my opinion, but that doesn’t mean it, or its movie adaptation, deserves to be, essentially, censored.

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I started Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander last night. So far, so good. I am hoping for a touch of Time Traveler’s Wife magic. Outlander has the feeling of a romantic novel about it but it’s pretty well written and I think the main character, Claire, is downright amusing at times. I like her a lot, and I also like her scholarly, nerdy, yet mysterious husband Frank. I’ve never been a sci-fi fan, or hugely interested in stories about time travel, but after TTW I was willing to give this one a shot.

Now, my mom was a huge fan of Jack Finney’s Time and Again, also the movie "Somewhere in Time” with Christopher Reeve (which is loosely based upon a book that is in turn based upon Finney’s book). I remember reading a book as a teenager called Portrait of Jenny that had something to do with time travel. I’ve also read a number of YA books about time travel – Time Cat, of course L’Engle (does a tesseract count as actual time travel?), and a book I think called Running Out of Time that had something to do with Spartacus. Any good books about time travel that I am neglecting in my prejudiced reading choices?

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Just to leave you on a lighter note than that on which I began:
This is my favorite blonde joke EVER. (And I love that the lawyer searches ‘even the Library of Congress.’ Some great research there, bub.)

A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight from L.A. to New York. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains how the game works: "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me, and visa-versa."
Again, the blonde politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he will easily win the match, so he makes another offer. "Okay, how about this, if you don't know the answer you pay me only $5, but if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Air-phone with his modem and searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour of searching for the answer he finally gives up. He wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little frustrated, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?" Again without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.