Tuesday, September 23, 2008

"They say one of a baby's first non-verbal forms of communication is pointing. Clicking must be somewhere just after that."

Oh, people.

If your computer ever implodes and contracts some sort of weirdo virus and downloads porn (really!) and all sorts of other nasty stuff and then displays the Blue Screen of Death, and then you call Dell (via India) and they are more concerned with your expired warranty than helping you, and then they also tell you that you should have in your possession an actual system recovery disk without which you can do nothing...and so you rip your house apart looking for the dang thing and you find two of them but neither is for YOUR computer...but then it turns out your husband knows enough to know that your system recovery disk is actually ON your hard drive...and then he backs up all your files but forgets your Outlook address book and any of your Firefox bookmarks....and then you have to sneak around to get your hands on a copy of Windows 2007 because you used an employee copy perfectly legally from your old job but you no longer work there...and your version of Word 2003 requires a key you don't have handy so you can't write the blog post you have been meaning to write for the past two weeks...not that you've really had time to read anything what with attending funerals and cooking dinners for unappreciative children and all...and you finally have time but then the baby wakes up screaming exactly twenty minutes after you have finally gotten the other three boys to bed...?

If this happens to you?

Have another drink.
Or two.

Or five.

It worked for me.

So far.

GOD.

10 comments:

blackbird said...

You know, Apple computers don't even HAVE a blue screen of death. And no one writes viruses for them. AND you can still have all the porn you want.

Shirty said...

So your laptop is back among the living? I'm so glad--I've missed you!

Sarah Louise said...

Here, have a cookie. No, not the sticks in your computer kind, the gooey kind. They're still warm.

Badger said...

Don't mind if I do. Slainte!

nutmeg said...

The blue screen of death is rather shocking. My TV did that once and that was bad enough - don't want to think about it in relation to my computer. (BTW - are you so over the Indian call centre thing. I am. And we have them calling to sell stuff etc etc but luckily there is a 3 second delay before they start talking so you have time just to slam the phone down before they do!)

Go to bed with a good book - have you looked at The Story of Forgetting yet? Or you could just call it a night and start again tomorrow?

TLB said...

Good Lord, woman, yes, have a drink. Or a dozen.

HEATHER said...

Honey, have a whole keg!
I had to fix my husband's laptop last month. He had to bring me large bags of dark chocolate M & M's, and Aldi's Party mix(like Chex mix but sooo much better) and stay the heck out of my way.

Caro said...

Whatchya drinking? Can I join ya?

catsteevens said...

Wow. Drink(s) indeed.

And blackbird...you soo SOLD ME! I'm now wishin' for an Apple :)

Liz said...

How much can you drink if you're nursing, without having to pump & dump?

I'm just, you know, wondering. For no particular reason.