Sunday, April 20, 2008

I don't have the energy to go find any kind of quote.

Dudes, things have been all kinds of insane around here.

The baby will not let me put him down, and he sounds like Darth Vader after he’s worked in the coal mines for fifty years. In addition, I will nurse him for an hour and then he’ll still be wailing so I give up and give him a 4 oz. bottle, which he sucks down like a starving Armenian. I am getting a little fed up.

In addition, he seems to be MY problem. I started painting yesterday in H’s room, while the baby napped, and when he woke up did H stop what he was doing (cutting the grass) to pick him up? Noooooooo. For that matter, did he even bother worrying about hearing him if he woke up? Noooooooo. I have fucking HAD IT.

And he made all the arrangements to take the boys to Thomas this spring – the exact week I had already signed Seg up for art camp. Which wouldn’t have been a big deal except I ASKED him to put Thomas on the calendar and he never did and he looked at the art camp schedule and never said a damn thing until AFTER I had signed Seg up. Why is my time allowed to be wasted so egregiously?

And I am already good and sick of goddamn t-ball.

I (stupidly) volunteered for Primo’s school’s Career Day Wednesday, but had forgotten all about it. When I called my mother-in-law to see if she could watch the two younger boys for a couple hours, she said she’d take Terzo but not Quarto. Well, fuck me. You know what? I took the damn baby with me, so those kids can see precisely what they have to look forward to as a woman in the workforce. And it was fine. He was, in fact, the star of the show. But I was livid.

The older boys are driving me twenty-eight different kinds of crazy, let’s not even go down that path, ok?

I can feel myself sliding slowly to the end of my tether.
Hence, the light posting. I’ll be fine. I just really really need a weekend to myself - which isn’t going to happen. I need Seg to stop whining and Terzo to stop shouting all the time, and Primo to stop acting like a two-year-old instead of the seven-year-old he is. I need H to stop acting like the baby is some sort of cute pet he can play with only when he wants. I need my mother-in-law to be semi-helpful.

I have a ton of posts to write about books and cool, fun stuff that's been happening but apparently I am capable only of complaining and kvetching and bitching.

I think I need to up my Zoloft.

And don't feel obliged to comment. I know you all care about me, and I know this will pass, and I know H is actually very helpful, just maybe not the way I need him to be. I know all this. But I have a headache and I'd like to devote two straight hours to any one thing, whatever, anything, just to complete a task. I'd like to even just finish a goddamn novel. ANYthing.


MsCellania said...

I disagree. I think you DO need our comments.
'I am just sitting over here, caring.'

How's that?

blackbird said...

I think you ought to give Kim a call.

TLB said...

I have nothing helpful to add, since I'm not yet down the mommy road, but it is coming, and thinking about how I'm going to manage a baby and a house and a full-time teaching job with no family in the area to speak of does make me go kind of fetal myself.

Can you hand H the baby and go get a latte for an hour? Tell him you're at the end of your tether and if he doesn't want to find you in a puddle he needs to do it just this once?

jenny said...

I do not feel at all obliged but really just want to let you know that I'm wishing that I could come over and take your four boys out for some street hockey and some stroller pushing.

Not that having a complete stranger abscond with your boys would be at all relaxing for you.

Or maybe it would be. I wouldn't judge.

HEATHER said...

I agree with Jenny. If I were closer to you, I would take the boys for you and with my boy they could wreak havoc on a local park.
Bless your heart honey. I will be praying for you.

KPB said...

Standing right beside you. Right beside you.

Badger said...

Up the Zoloft and, you know, maybe BUY SOME MORE RUM.

I'm just saying.

Unknown said...

Rum and coke. You can suck one down in less than a minute if you have to.

Sarah Louise said...

um, not to point out things, but you did finish posting a post.

Better living through chemistry baby!



Poppy Buxom said...

Stop painting rooms this instant!

What you need, my dear, is to send all the children to your mother's country house and come visit me. We'll go to Almack's and Vauxhall and maybe pop down to Brighton to see Prinnie's new palace, although I hear it's really rather vulgar.


(Guess who has read every single one of Georgette Heyer's books.)

Caro said...

Your MIL puts the "mother" in MIL. Hee.

Today I was looking at babies in the store and thinking how much I missed having a baby.

You have just verbally thumped me for having those thoughts. :-)

It takes a village to help with a baby. Unfortunately it sounds like your village is peopled with idiots. (excluding you of course.)

I hope you get some time to yourself.