Tuesday, May 29, 2007

"When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad..."

I started reading Slaughterhouse Five online on Saturday, because it was insanely dead at work but there were people about so I didn’t want to risk reading an actual BOOK at the desk. How is it that I have never read this before? It’s funny and sweet and sad, and Billy Pilgrim is a strange sort of Everyman. I am reading it in PDF form, and am about at page 70 of 118. It’s wonderful.

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I finished The $64 Tomato. I felt like the author never really finished the book, or rather, that it just ENDED. It was mildly entertaining, and did indeed, as one commenter pointed out, teach me to not start too big. My little 4x8 plot (tomatoes, sweet banana peppers, watermelon, basil, and parsley) and a couple of terracotta trenches (lettuces) and pots (mint) are well within my capabilities, I believe.

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I ditched Final Exam by Pauline Chen. Another author who never seemed to get to her point. There’s a reason she’s a surgeon and not a writer.

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I have a feeling I am going to enjoy Clare Clark’s The Great Stink but now is not the time. Same with Lord Byron’s Novel.

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For some reason, Wally Lamb’s I Know This Much is True called to me, and I started it last night. I continued it on my lunch hour today. I needed a big, fat book that would pull me in, and I think this will do the trick. I remember being thoroughly engrossed in She’s Come Undone so, despite the fact that it is an Oprah book (I know, I am a snob), I am really liking it.

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I had a crappy day today. I actually had a crappy weekend, carried into today, and I am not really anticipating a much more pleasant next-weekend. We are driving to see my little brother and his lovely wife and my dear little nephew who will turn two next month, which should be great, but from there we have a bat mitzvah in Greenwich CT to attend, all day Saturday, and I am not looking forward to any type of formal event with H (yes, I bought a new dress although I am sure I look like a heifer anyway), or any of the driving.

I came back from lunch at three-ish, and claimed a headache, and left at four. Atypically I was not scheduled on the desk at all today, so I didn’t leave anyone in the lurch; I just needed to BE HOME.

Is this what panic attacks are like? I’ve never had one, that I know of. It would sort of suck to start now.
Would it be wise to take the big bottle of Rescue Remedy with me?

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These are a few of my favorite things:
Right now, right after I post this, I am crawling into (1) my bed, with its nice, crisp, clean sheets, and (2) my book, and (3) a pint of Chubby Hubby ice cream.

I anticipate a chance to (4) run tomorrow since H is on vacation this week.

I discovered (5) a fabulous nursery near my house, which carries all sorts of plants (including heirloom, although no Brandywine tomatoes which I am anxious to try), and seeds (organic and regular) and plenty of other cool garden stuff; my (6) no-dig raised bed is all built (thank you for the pointers, Nutmeg!) and I will put the rest of the plants in tomorrow; and I have three estimates on the fence project so we can proceed with serious brush-clearing and yard work now. I put into the front flower bed some pretty purple and lavender and white (7) alyssum which smells just like honey, and (8) I scored a gigantic, intact terra cotta pot out of the neighbor’s trash last night.

(9) My chives came up.

And (10) The Baby’s newest word is “weedwhacker.”

11 comments:

Sarah Louise said...

Well, I can't do Wally Lamb or Kurt Vonnegut, but I am WITH YOU on the Chubby Hubby.

I've never heard of Rescue Remedy. I don't think I've had a panic attack, but I've had racing thoughts. Not for a while, though.

And you are beautiful. None of this comparison to livestock...

blackbird said...

In a panic attack your heart pounds hard and fast and you can't catch your breath and you feel dizzy and sick to your stomach and you start to hyperventilate and THEN your hands contort and cramp into unlikely shapes and turn a little blueish and your husband drives you down the road to the ER at the heart hospital and they have to put you on oxygen and give you a sedative and an ekg and
after a few hours you can go home to the child who is sobbing and worried about his behavior.

I think.

Suse said...

I would play it safe and take both the Rescue Remedy AND the Chubby Hubby to work.

Gina said...

To BB's description, I can only add that if you actually find yourself feeling better when you sit in your car in the ER's parking lot . . . it's probably panic.

jessmonster said...

Weedwacker - love it!

I hope the book and ice cream did their job.

And I'm glad you found a way to read at work. I tend to read librarian magazines when I'm out of things to do at the desk but want to look professional.

Liz said...

I love a nice, fat book, and remembering loving I Know This Much is True.

I don't think Lamb has written anymore novels since then...

daysgoby said...

Saw this today and thought of you - I wonder if that method would work?

http://www.rocktownweekly.com/flavor_details.php?AID=10503&sub=Feature

Jess

paula said...

You stop that right this minute. Don't refer to yourself as a heifer. You wouldn't let a friend talk about themselves that way so just cut. it. out.

Rescue Remedy is a charm but get the Rescue Sleep Remedy. It's exactly the same with the exception of having white chestnut in it which doesn't make you sleepy but helps calm repetitive thoughts.

Throw your shoulders back and stick out your boobs. Own the room you walk into missy.

Tara said...

I loved the Wally Lamb books, and have especially fond memories of I Know This Much is True. I read most of that while snowed in, in a tiny studio apartment rented by my now husband, after a massive blizzard in Chicago leaving almost 2 feet of snow, with no clean clothes and only chili to eat for 3 days. Wonderful book. I hope it 'takes you away'.

Loretta said...

Not familiar with Rescue Remedy but breathing into a paper bag helps.

As does copious amounts of red wine.

Greenwich - very la di da - I'm only a half hour in NY - come visit!

nutmeg said...

Grrrr! My comment must have got sucked into a cyberspace black hole! Glad to hear your garden bed went OK. I received my seed potatoes in the post the other day and am planting them tomorrow!