Sunday, January 10, 2010

Mother in law...Mother in law...She worries me so...

Katy asked me a bunch of questions that I never answered. I am sorry, Katy, especially since the first question might have required more urgent attention!

What is the best advice/number one suggestion you would give for dealing with a mother-in-law that not even her son particularly likes and lives about 2000 miles away?
Even if your husband doesn’t especially like her, she did give birth to him. She gets a point or two just for that, right? So, be sure to send Christmas and birthday cards. When/if you visit, just grit your teeth, bring a nice hostess gift, and try to relax as much as you can – it won’t last long. And, most importantly, be grateful she’s 2,000 miles away.

I hope this helps. In-laws are tough, even if you adore them.

How did you know what to name your babies when they were born?
My oldest son is named for my father who died when I was a teenager. I always knew that if I had a son, he would be named after my dad. I THOUGHT we were going to nickname him Sam (as my dad was), but it didn’t fit: my fussy little guy is the perfect Simon.
Our second son was named in honor of John Lennon. H denies this now, but we even considered, very briefly and stupidly, Lennon. I lobbied a bit for Maxwell, since “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” is my favorite Beatles song, but there are way too many Maxes and I am glad we went with Jude.
Our third son is named for my father-in-law, but he is never ever Jim; he is James or Jamie. We thought his name would actually be Angus James, but he didn’t LOOK like an Angus at all, so we reversed them and now we’re glad we did.
The fourth – heck, we were fresh out of names. We just liked Luke. It had always been a contender, and it’s time had come. Besides, Lukifer is the perfect nickname for him.
You just KNOW when a name fits a baby. Seriously. It sounds nuts, but you do.
And now we return to our regularly scheduled baby pseudonyms, and will never speak of this again.

Why don't we live in the same neighborhood? Would I still think you were cool if we lived near each other?
We don’t live in the same neighborhood because you skedaddled out of Pittsburgh upon graduation and I stayed and now I am married to a Pittsburgher so will more than likely never leave. As for the second question: I dunno, maybe. I hope so. We could hang out and knit together...

What is your opinion of rain? Did having kids change your feelings towards precipitation?
I love rain. It gives me the perfect excuse to be lazy.
I have actually always loved rain. Bright sunlight can give me migraines. (But for that matter, so does change in the barometric pressure.)
But having kids makes you think about weather differently. For example, this crazy snow we’ve gotten this winter, while delightful, wreaks havoc with my plans for myself when the chilluns are in school. Due to snow delays and closings, my kids have been home a good bit, and on top of the snow, it’s been frigid, really too cold to throw them outside for any length of time. However, I do get to take them sledding and skating, so that’s fun. I guess I am realizing that, with my little guys around now, I prefer snow precipitation to rain precip.

I hope that all helps. I’m sorry it took so long.
And now I am going to bed with a chocolate croissant and The Birthing House, which might be very creepy or very silly, I haven’t decided which yet.


Kristin said...

Those are all lovely names.

I have to say though, I was never SURE if the names for my babies were the right ones. I knew which of the names we had picked out were wrong...that seemed obvious once that babies were born, but to this day I'm not positive that we gave our daughter the right name, and she's 5 months old.

Katy said...

To Kristin: You can still change your daughter's name if you want, if you have a better candidate in mind. My parents only changed the spelling of mine after I was born, but they did that (a given name with a C makes a nickname starting with K potentially confusing and definitely silly). Your county or city records office is the place to go. =)

Thanks for answering my questions BB! I noticed that you missed them way back, but was worried that I didn't ask soon enough or had somehow missed the answers, so I didn't want to bug you. The answers do help. The deal with the MIL is that its something that I need to hear fairly regularly, from various sources.

Caro said...

I like all your boys' names. I am iffy on my kid's names. One of them I did not have much say so in. Make that two of them...sigh.

Anonymous said...

To Katy: Remember that if you have kids, you will be stuck with your in-laws NO MATTER WHAT. I'm divorced, but still see my MIL and step-MIL all the time, because I am the Keeper of the Grandson.