Sunday, June 08, 2008

"...but I ain't up to my baby tonight, 'cause it's too darn hot!"*

Rules for the wading pool

Do not put your peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the water.

Do not dump your glass of lemonade in the water.

Or throw it at your brother.

Grapes do not float. Do not put them in the wading pool.

Pretzels do float. Do not put them in the wading pool.

You must keep your swim trunks/swim diaper on at all times.

Preferably covering your butt crack.

Do not try to balance your book on the side of the wading pool.

Do not try to lift one side (or the other) of the wading pool.

Do not throw water at my car.

Do not scoop up soggy bits of peanut butter and jelly sandwich and fling it at my car.

Or your brother.

Do not hit your brother with your water pistol.

Do not throw your water pistol.

You know what, maybe the water pistols weren’t such a great idea.

Do not pee outside.

Do not pee on, near, or around your brother’s shoes.

Do not splash or throw or shoot water near your mom, who is holding the baby.

Note to mom: baby does not like to have feet dipped in ice cold water. Imagine.

Do not drink the pool water.

Do not pour cups of water down the front of your swim suit.

No one wants to see your errant willy.

Which, come to think of it, is a good piece of advice to generally live by.

"Too Darn Hot," from "Kiss Me Kate" (Cole Porter)


blackbird said...

Rules to live by.

I'm so damn glad my kids are older.

Miz S said...

Me too.

But I'm chuckling over here. That was funny.

Paula said...

It must be mental telepathy, or maybe the three of us are old.

I was thinking the SAME thing as bb and mary.


Badger said...

Another oldster chiming in. I hated those things. We had an additional rule about not pooping in them.

Velma said...

Our old blow up pool didn't survive the winter, so we are wading pool-less. Not altogether a bad thing, I think.

Unknown said...

"No one wants to see your errant willy."

Great bumper sticker material.

Sarah said...

The Errant Willy sounds like a good name for a British-themed gay bar. That serves bullocks at the bar.

Jess said...

Hee - over here my loverly children have discovered the joy of digging a hole, filling it with water, and then stamping in it until it's dry. Rinse and repeat.

Yes, they come in looking like mudbugs.

And drip all the way up to the tub.

Why hello, summer!

HEATHER said...

Hee hee, aren't boys such fun?!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh (and I'm glad my kids are older, too).

My word verification is: "momee"

Bearette said...

Yeah, the errant willy was my favorite.

delta said...

totally cool post!!!

as the mom of two boys -- now 14 and 16 -- i can totally relate. this was hilarious!

Sarah Louise said...

"Do not try to balance your book on the side of the wading pool."

No chance these aren't your children. I'm guessing that was to Primo. Three more days of school?

Your not-a-mom friend,