Thursday, October 26, 2006

Girls that like a story, so I told one... - "By the Way," Red Hot Chili Peppers UPDATED!!!

Stolen meme (from Joke, from Badger, from Karla – yeah, I seem to’ve ripped off most of the blogosphere. Hey! Just like Bitacle.)

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Guess.
Much messier than a bus, though.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be? James Blunt

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? John Ashcroft

4. What is your favorite cheese? Point Reyes Farmstead blue. At the moment. I have never met a cheese I didn’t like.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
Bacon, tomato, avocado, with Hellman’s, on toasted Brownberry oatnut bread

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice? Haven't you been paying attention? Sam Elliott

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
Anthony Kiedis.

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Where’s the nearest bookstore?

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
(Why do I feel this overwhelming compulsion to say, “Ghost Busters!” That doesn’t even make any SENSE.) London. No! Not London. AUSTRALIA. I am dumb. NO IDEA why that was not the original answer. Too much time spent with five-year-olds....

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
Find a pub and have a Scrumpy Jack, and some real fish-and-chips.
Hold the mushy peas.

11. A demon rises out of Hell and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is...?
Bacardi rum.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
Renaissance England/early 1600s. I want to see the original production of The Tempest.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Leave me alone.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?
It’d be called, "We Live to Serve," and it'd be a phone-in reference librarian show.
I think it’d be cool.

15. What is your favorite curse word?
Any will do.

16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Send them to H’s room and go back to sleep.

17. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the item?

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
How many hazelnut Five Star bars could I eat in half an hour, do you suppose?

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
Book osmosis. I could sleep with a book under my pillow, and in the morning I’d read it. In one night. While sleeping.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
Never you mind.

21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
Junior high.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool stuff... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
The one closest to my house. (The one in England AUSTRALIA.)

24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, check it out... I can FLOAT!"?
Gina, you have read Salem's Lot, haven't you? I'd come to your house.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
Jane Austen. Or Joe Strummer. Jane Austen, Joe Strummer. Hmmm.

26. The Gates of Hell have opened, and Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
Haven't you ever read "The Monkey's Paw"? What is WRONG with you?

No, seriously? My dad.

27. What's your theme song?
“Happier Blue,” Chris Smither


Unknown said...

That was really great...especially the book osmosis thing :)

Kathy said...

Book osmosis -- way cool. I also liked your idea for a tv show. Really -- I did.

Badger said...

Ooo! Good call on the Kiedis. It occurred to me about 10 minutes after I posted mine that I should have picked him, but I was too lazy to go back and change it.

Maybe I can have them both?

Suse said...

Numbers 9 and 22.


blackbird said...

I appreciate your tone of voice in number 20.

Jess said...

I was reading question #14 and thinking to myself, "ooh, my answer would be a TV show set in a library" because I just had a conversation about this the other night - and lo and behold you are one step ahead of me. We couldn't think of a good title, though. Can you expand it to be more than just phone in reference? I think we need that precious combination of humor and drama and wackiness.

Joke said...


Good call.


sara said...

Australia *was* very nice...

I would totally wipe James Blunt out of existence, too!

yt said...

There was a reference librarian movie. The great one with Hepburn and Tracy, I forget the name. He's installing a computer to replace Kate and her staff. The have an answer race between the computer and Kate's Krew. The good girls win.

The name of your show sounds a little too masochistic. You'll get all the wrong viewers tuning in. How about "Answer Me That!"

Anonymous said...

I love #14. Maybe it could feature two librarians racing to answer the same question? Alton Brown could do the play-by-play, like on Iron Chef.