Thursday, March 12, 2009

"Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities."*

True story:

H said, and I quote: "It would make me the happiest man in the world if the molding in the dining room was all the same color. Like, for Saturday, for the party."

And I looked at him and said witheringly (albeit 24 hours later, after I had come to my senses, and after I'd bought 26 pounds of corned beef): "Does it not make you the happiest man in the world that your children are dressed in clean clothes and fed and go to school on time? And that your dinner awaits you each night? Oh, and that I AM COOKING FUCKING CORNED BEEF FOR 80 PEOPLE ON SATURDAY? Even though I have 2 dissertations to edit this week? Huh?"

To which he replied, "How come YOU are the only one allowed to exaggerate?"

And then I killed him with a sharp paring knife and ate his liver with a nice Chianti.

The End.

Fecking Irish.

******************
*Lord Dunsany, whoever that may be when he's at home.

14 comments:

Kristin said...

80 people?!! Wow. I am in awe.

daysgoby said...

*falling all over myself here*

I'm betting there wouldn't be a jury that would convict you.....

Caro said...

Mwahahahaha. Ah men...

Penni said...

If you were a true citizen of the world wide web this would be a recipe post, with photos.

Penni said...

(er, the husband's liver I mean. Not the many pounds of corned beef, of which I am a little frightented).

kim at allconsuming said...

GOD if that was Chef it would have been - 'I'd be the happiest man in the world if you gave me oral pleasure every day. Even once a week. But everyday would nail it.'

80 pounds of corned beef kinda made my stomach cranky.

Badger said...

I'll be right over to help you hide the body. Assuming there's anything left.

OMG, my wvw is "whosista".

Liz said...

but no fava beans?

and now I am very curious about the state of your molding.

Paula said...

Heh-heh.

Men.

Amelia Plum said...

Damn, sorry to sound sexist but what man notices the state of the molding if ceilings aren't his job? And cooking corned beef for 80 people is a sure way to sainthood I'd think.

Suse said...

Oh I am so tired.

Sarah Louise said...

I'll have to check out the moldings...

xo,
SL

Duyvken said...

Love it. I hope the chianti was good.

ThirdCat said...

hilarious