Friday, August 24, 2007

Cruella de Ville: What kind of sycophant are you? Frederick: Uh, what kind of sycophant would you like me to be?

Oh for fuck’s sake. I am NOT mean to the dog. He’s a perfectly nice dog, who is fed, and bathed, and walked regularly. He is given treats and played with and petted. I take him to the vet for regular checkups and anytime I think something’s up.

(Although you all, my sycophants, may tell me I should do otherwise.)

But he is NOT a child.

I made a mistake.
Not a nice one, or one I am proud of, but a mistake nonetheless.
I went into this with the best of intentions, both for my family and for Punto.
I am not one of those people who consider my pets my children. It’s fine if you are (more leeway than you give me, apparently) but I am not.

And it is NOT fine for a dog to poop on the floor after being let out before we go to bed, and without coming to get someone to let him out if he is feeling unwell. Which apparently he is not. And after having kept the exact same hours without poop incident for the previous four months just fine.

I now understand why some people crate their animals at night.
I also understand why sometimes people quit blogging.

*******

I am reading The Book of Lost Things, and it is deliciously creepy.
I am also reading The Long Exile, and the story is intriguing but I don’t much care for the author’s writing style.
Also dabbling in Rosamunde Pilcher’s cozy September except my stomach is not handling the food descriptions very well at the moment.

Otherwise we are all lying around under the ceiling fans, getting to the pool as much as we can, and torturing Punto the dog.

KIDDING.

He is as usual being fed and watered regularly and walked and petted and has his very own fan to lie in front of.
Maybe if he’s very lucky, I can find him a home with central air?
If I do, and decide to keep him, do you think Anonymous et al. will crucify me for THAT?

17 comments:

paula said...

I love dogs and mine are precious to me, I couldn't imagine my life without them, but I also know not everyone feels that way.

I think you're brave to say you made a mistake. Some people would just tie the dog up in the yard, but you are doing whats good for all of you.

I think someone needs a nap...

Iamthebookworm said...

I agree with Paula. You are very brave to say that the dog is not for you, but you are also a RESPONSIBLE dog owner because you are feeding, watering, walking, petting the dog and giving him a cool place to rest. IRRESPONSIBLE dog owners (as Paula said) leave their dogs outside chained up all day, or just let them run wild (as my neighbor does). A dog is not for everyone.

Bookworm (one of your sycophants!)

Katy said...

Yeah, dogs are a lot of work. All pets are work, just on the basis of being domesticated animals of some sort, but dogs are a special kind of many-times-a-day work. Cats, you feed them, fill the water bowl, scoop the poop and pet them when they come up to you, they're fine. Dogs, on the other hand, oh my word, its neverending. Children, its expected that you will teach them (and they will learn) to do things for themselves in time. Dogs never do. The best you can hope for is the occasional trick for a treat and housetraining. They'll never fill their own food bowl or wipe up the floor where the water dish got sloshed or learn to use the toilet and flush.

Good luck finding a new home for Punto. Maybe the TANBI cats need a tormentor?

Lazy cow said...

It is brave to admit making a mistake (and I think pregnancy hormones can be blamed, can't you?)
I speak flippantly about my dog, but my husband cossets him (sleeps on our bed and/or couch) and the children adore him. I DO look after him, but he is now a PET not a person-substitute.
How funny that we're both reading The Book of Lost Things. I can tell I'm going to be bereft when I finish it.

Kim said...

oh bravery my arse.

BB just said it how it was.

And some god-bothering do-gooder (who undoubtedly is also a scrap booker) took issue with it.

Of course she looks after the animal, that's why it is so fucking annoying it decides the best place to take a dump is in the middle of her dining room.

GAH.

(I am guessing I just broke every rule of blogging etiquette.)

Liz said...

Eager sycophant, here!

Yes, dogs can be needy, some more than others. They are also surprisingly adept at sensing their people's feelings, particularly stress. They want to be with people who love them. If you don't love Punto, that's not your fault.

You're working to find a solution that will make everyone happier, including the dog, and that's all anyone could ask of you.

I remain your devoted, mindless servant.

Badger said...

Dammit, I want some sycophants! Where can I get some? They sound like fun.

Babette said...

My 10 year old son helps care for one of our neighbor's dogs when the master is out of town, because, in his words, the master's sweet wife has dogaphobia.

Methinks you and Mary would actually be fast friends, once you got to know one another. As her friend and devoted reader I know that her soft-heartedness toward dogs and recent events in her life have made her even more sympathetic. Alas, we all have pet peeves, nes't-ce pas?

May I recommend taking the equanimity-inducing downward-facing dog yoga pose? Otherwise, I'll be tempted to utter what I sometimes am driven to say to my eleven children: "Babies, behave!"

P. S. Mary is no scrapbooker! Them's fightin' words!

Poppy Buxom said...

Your dog is lucky. Your sons are luckier. You're doing the best job you can with both.

Don't let anthropomorphizing blog comments get you down.

(Why don't they complain about the way Dooce is constantly taking pictures of her dog balancing some random object on its forehead? Now that's pet abuse. I say we sick PETA on her.)

(Do people really walk their dogs between 10:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m.? Is that what's really expected? If so, how did the dog ever become America's favorite pet?)

BabelBabe said...

Babette - I KNOW, I LIKE Mary. I read her, for God's sake. That's why I was so blown away and dare I admit hurt that she posted what she did in the way she did? It sorta came out of nowhere, I felt.

I am nice to the dog, I care for him as best I can - I didn't threaten to leave him by the highway or euthanize him.

poppy - no one walks their dog in the middle of the night. I don't think. i certainly don't. if some people crate their dogs while they work for eight hours, I fail to see why my dog can't be expected to control himself for seven or eight hours while we all sleep - including him.

BabelBabe said...

also - badge, you order your sycophants online, where else? that's where I got mine.

unfortunately, you are all going to consider me VERY immature, but sycophants is my new favorite word : )

and babette - i just reread your comment - do you really have 11 children? blessed sainted woman!

Poppy Buxom said...

I have an amazing idea!

Babies loooooooove the person who feeds them. This is why my hippy dippy mother in law was practically begging me to express milk and let her bottle feed my children--even though she was a Hare Krishna and vegan and totally believes breast is best, she sold out in an instant to try to bribe her grandchildren into loving her.

(I didn't do it.)

Anyway. Here's the idea:

Assign feeding the dog chore to the boys. Even if for the time being, you have to open the can, etc., make the boys scoop the food out and put the dish on the floor. Then Bunco will magically bond with them, the hands that feed him. And they will love him back. And you can get back to doing what you'd rather be doing.

Come on, you can do this. A three year old can make his bed, so your boys can be in charge of Bunko-grub.

Babette said...

Your quaint,
Unfaint
Lack of restraint
Brings no complaint.
But a saint
I ain't, though
Pleased to acquaint.

Joke said...

Do NOT get me started on ill-considered flaming.

Just.fucking.don't.

-J.

P.S. I thought you had to send away for packets of sycophants to reconstitute in tap water.

D said...

Not sure how I got here, but it must be fate. my recent post is on releasing our family dog of 5 years to a new home. I feel horrible. I'd never release one of my kids! But a dog? Is, honestly, a dog. Really.

nutmeg said...

Crikey I am away for a few days and another bomb seems to go off over your way BB!

Can I just cut and paste what I wrote on the "birthing your way" post?

I am sooooo very sure you are not mistreating your dog - not loving him is NOT mistreating him! He is a DOG. Again - misdirecting one's anger and indignance - JUST MAKES ME ANGRY! The point is - you made a mistake and are open enough to own up to it and again I am sure you will find it a good home if that is what you decide to do.

You are touching on all the "hot topics" at the moment BB!

Regards

Another Sycophant (Oh I mean Another Nutter)

MsCellania said...

Chiming in to say:
"Joke said 'Fuck'."
He must be pretty fucking serious.