Saturday, June 16, 2007

"If you ask me, there isn't enough blue food." - Mark Darcy in "Bridget Jones's Diary"

H went to play poker with friends tonight.
While I generally would rather read a book than watch a movie, I do have a small stash of old favorites, comfort movies, as it were.
Thye include “Moonstruck,” “Love Actually,” “The Parent Trap,” “Bridget Jones’ Diary,” and “Roman Holiday.”
Every once in a very great while, I will add to the collection. Recently I purchased a sure-to-be-godawful DVD called “Stick It!”
Its tagline caught my fancy: “It’s not called gym-nice-tics!”
I mean, c’mon, that’s FUNNY.
Plus, long long ago, in a galaxy far far away, when I was young and thin and shorter, before my seventh-grade growth spurt that put me at five-eight, I was a gymnast.
Not a particularly good one by any means – I spent an awful lot of time trying to learn to do an aerial (never succeeded) and a back extension (successful). I could do front handsprings but not back handsprings. I finally managed a back hip circle on the bars just before I grew half a foot.

I was gymnastics-obsessed - spent my seventh summer cartwheeling in my poor mother’s living room and jumping around on the front lawn pretending to be Nadia Comaneci. I amassed quite a clipping collection about Olga Korbut, Nadia, Ludmilla Turischeva, Tracee Talavera, Julianne McNamara – I knew all the names, all the big stars and the up-and-comers. I even subscribed to US Gymnast for a while.

I took lessons at a teeny little gym called Sunburst Gymnastics. I went once a week, for an hour, and then to gymnastics camp (half-day) for a week in the summer.
I competed in one meet, and I still have my medal (in fairness, I should tell you that everyone who competed got a medal, if you managed to do your back somersaults, and kick turns on the beam). Like everyone else in the gym, I sewed all my ribbons and patches to my leotard, and I wore little white anklets with colored pom-poms on the backs, and I will tell you right now, I HATED wearing grips on the bars, I only used chalk. I longed –yearned, I tell you - for calluses on my palms, and rips on those calluses.

My first floor routine was to the theme from Pink Panther (I could probably still do it if I had to – ba dum, ba dum, ba dum ba dum ba dum, ba dum ba DUMMMM, badadaDUM), second level floor was to Nadia’s Theme (natch), and the level three floor routine was to “Evergreen.” I never got past level three, sadly.

So. Did I watch this movie tonight? No, I did not. Because it was all the way UPSTAIRS and I was all the way DOWNSTAIRS and I am LAZY.
[WARNING: non sequitur approaching]
So I popped in “Bridget Jones.”

My favorite moment: when Mark Darcy kisses Bridget at the end, and she says, “Wait a minute. Nice boys don’t kiss like that.” And he growls, without even opening his eyes, “Oh, yes, they fucking do.” And then he wraps her in his overcoat.

The funniest moment: the fight scene between Daniel Cleaver and Mark Darcy.

The most heart-wrenching moment: when Mark meets Bridget’s friends, and is all shy and sort of awkward and cute, and then he flashes that gorgeous, elusive smile…sighhhhh...

The most cringe-inducing scene: Bridget’s speech at Mark’s parents’ ruby anniversary party. Or maybe when Bridget shows up at what she thinks is a tarts-and-vicars party in a Playboy bunny outfit, and everyone else is dressed normally…or when she answers the phone, “Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess," and it’s her mum...or...or...let’s face it, I love Bridget because she’s real. She fucks up. A lot. She says stupid things and acts like an ass. But she means well, and loves her mum and dad, and sticks by her friends. I would want her to be my friend. And tonight, for just a few hours, she was.

But she stole my boyfriend, just so you know.

9 comments:

Stomper Girl said...

I actually went to the cinema to see Stick It. I really liked it. And I can still cartwheel.

I love the fight scenes in BJD too, both movies. Phwoaarr.

blackbird said...

I love that when Renee Zelwegger (sp?) got fat for the role, she looked just like me.

nutmeg said...

Yes to the gymnastics (floor and vault were my things - the uneven bars were out of my league!) and Bridget Jones. Funny thing is, is that I never got into the book and actually didn't finish it (oops was that someone just throwing something at me!) No, I don't know what it is about the book but the movie is THE BEST. I recently got a dvd with 5 movies in it - the two Bridget Jones', Love Actually, Wimbeldon (which I've not seen yet), and Notting Hill - blubbed may way through the last one!

But my #1 comfort viewing is the BBC's Pride and Prejudice or The Forsyte Saga - I actually can't get enough of that guy who is the "villian" in the Forsyte Saga (can't remember the character or the actor - the actor was in Band of Brothers as well -YUM).

And for really, REALLY old times sake sometimes I've just got to put in Dirty Dancing (would love to get my hands on that mini series North and South with the very young Patrick Swayze!), Flashdance (...in a world made of steel, made of stone, dah dah dah dah dah dah. What a feelin'...) or Beaches.

Gosh, I've revealed all my secrets now....

Badger said...

I had to drop out of gymnastics when I was 8 or so because I couldn't do a CARTWHEEL. Still can't. Never have. The Romanian side of my family was SO disappointed. (Because, as you say, Nadia was big doings back then.)

I'm convinced that I'm not in the Bridget Jones target audience because I just don't LIKE it. I feel like I SHOULD like it, but ... bleh.

Sarah Louise said...

I can't cartwheel, dive, any of that. I can stand on my hands in the water if I'm leaning up against the side ofthe pool though...I want to see Stick it.

I think BJ isn't comfort for me just yet b/c it's a little too close for comfort. I LOVED the audio book, though.

Suse said...

The full quote is "Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess with a very bad man between her thighs".

Just so you know.

Iamthebookworm said...

I never took gymnastics. I DID take dance classes for years. Stick It was one of those guilty pleasures.

Gina said...

I had those ripped callouses you craved, and I can still do a back handspring. Kick-ass floor routine to Eye of the Tiger, anyone?

I haven't seen Stick It yet, but I freaking LOVE Bring it On. :-)

jessmonster said...

Nutmeg - you mean Soames? Or however you spell it?

I wish more actresses got 'fat' for parts. They start to look halfway normal.