"Up to my ears in bitter tears, can't believe I've sunk this low..."

So tonight H left for a week.

For a very important conference for work. At which he will present a project for which he has been responsible. Which will, no exaggeration, change some people's lives drastically for the better, and also improve others' dying days. (So, you know, when you say, Why can't H take a week off? THAT'S why.)

At first he wanted me to go with him, but the conference is in a location fraught with not-good memories for us as a couple. Better he should go alone. Trust me.

He leaves me at home with four boys who are really beginning to be out of control.
At lunch today, at a fairly - shall we say plebian - dining establishment - our children's behavior caused him to rest his head in his hands and sigh deeply. I said, "Shouldn't *I* be the one doing that? Since, you know, you get to LEAVE in three hours." And he looked at me and simply said, "Yes."

He merrily hopped on an airplane and doesn't return for DAYS.

So, on the way home from the airport, we didn't even stop at the house first. I drove directly to the neighborhood park which hosts an outdoor jazz concert every Sunday evening in August. The three older boys made bracelets (Primo made me a huge, ugly beaded anklet with my name on it which I am more than happy to wear). Then they played Twister and beanbag tic-tac-toe, and participated in a scavenger hunt. *I* sat on my butt and listened to live jazz music and sponged limoncello martinis off my friend A and then I lost Terzo (but we knew so many people at the concert, and I found him again rather quickly) so it was time to go home. Where I dropped the baby into his crib, and the three older boys into bed, and poured myself another rather strong cocktail.

It's going to be a very long week.

PS Did I mention my babysitter's mom died, so she won't be coming this week either? I mean, I understand, her MOM died (she WAS 94), but I would've planned this H-less week differently had I the slightest inkling. All I can say is, pray for me.

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*"In the Belly of the Whale," The Newsboys