(I feel like I am describing a racehorse, for God's sake!)
Five things I wish were in my freezer:
- A jar of my homemade limoncello
- A few spare loaves of banana bread
- A pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chubby Hubby ice cream
- Some Stouffer’s French bread pizzas
- Something to be defrosted for dinner tonight
Five things that shouldn't be in my wardrobe:
- My wedding dress. Like Suse. But what the hell are you supposed to DO with it?
- At least a half dozen pairs of pre-children shoes. I LOVE my black Paul Green lace-up oxfords, and they were so expensive I hate to give them up, but they really are a size or two too small now. Also pair of pink Chuck Taylors. What was I thinking?
- All the ratty, elastic-showing underwear, and the bras that no longer offer any support at all, like those cute little stretchy Barely There numbers I wore pre-children.
- All the clothes that are size 12 and under, that don’t fit and probably never will again. Why do I continue to torture myself?
- The turquoise and black abstract print dress I wore to the last wedding we attended.
Five things I hate about my car:
- No automatic locks
- No automatic windows
- All the Cheerios, raisins, graham crackers, and various toys and bits of toys embedded in the carpet, stuffed under and into the seats, and scattered on the floor/seat/carseats
- The cup holders are not big enough for a Starbucks venti cup.
- There are never any quarters in the change box. (Like that’s the *car’s* fault.)
Five things I should throw out of my handbag/purse/briefcase/backpack:
(I clean my bag out on a regular basis - part and parcel of my OCD dealio. So I had to really stretch for these.)
- The dried-up baby wipes
- The lipstick I never use
- All the crumpled post-its, receipts, and old grocery lists
- The Matchbox car/teething ring/Happy Meal toys
- The plastic eating utensils
(No, no tampons, Blackbird. I have been pregnant or nursing for more than five years now.)
Five things I don't want to admit are in my bathroom:
- A big bottle of Zoloft, and a variety of sleeping pills
- Head and Shoulders shampoo
- More facial cleansers and toners than you can shake a stick at
- The plunger
- The stupid potty seat