Tuesday, August 01, 2006

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop

OK, I am DYING here. This bloggy friend and THIS bloggy friend met up yesterday and I WANT AN UPDATE! Because I am green with envy! I did see a photo of one of them – well, her hands and the contents of her purse, anyway...but I want details! I am anxiously awaiting details!


As usual on a Tuesday, I come to work, plop myself down at the desk, and proceed to talk off the ear of my co-worker, whom I only get to see once a week.

S is wonderful – smart, funny, witty and wry, and cute, and a great reference librarian. As far as I can tell – unless she’s hiding her “no-more-wire-hangers” rants, which somehow I seriously doubt – especially as, like me, she seems to be completely uninterested in sartorial fussiness – she is a really good mom. In fact, sometimes I have to laugh because S will be getting all snarky on someone’s ass and then she’ll call home, “Hi, sweetie! It’s Mommy. What are you up to? Are you having a nice day?” It’s endearing, in the nicest kind of way. And she is a patient, loving wife who also appears to brook no bullshit; and, hell, she makes her husband a pie every week, what more can you ask for in a marriage? She works out on her lunch hours, too. Did I mention she’s getting a Ph.D.? And teaches? Several classes? She is an excellent example of the kind of person I would like to get my shit together and be. And she’s my friend! Will wonders never cease?

Anyhoo...so as usual, I sit down and start talking. Because the details of my life are oh-so fascinating, yo. (Ha! I sound just like Badger!) And she listens. And talks. And offers sound advice. And is a friend. And I really dig her. And if she didn’t have an insane life with three kids and two jobs and a husband and whatnot, and if I didn’t have an insane life with three kids and a job and a falling-down house and whatever – I like to think we would socialize. Go out for a beer, or a quick dinner, or get the families together for a cookout. And someday, when the kids are older and life is possibly a little less crazy, we might, and that would be cool. But for now, I am pleased she is a friend, and that I get to hang out with her at the desk at work a couple hours a week. Although she? Probably wants to stick pencils in her eardrums when she sees me coming.


My father-in-law’s cousin died Sunday. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two months ago, and it all happened – well, quickly for those of us who weren’t in the thick of it. For those who were, I remember from caring for my mother, it probably seemed like an eternity, which at this point you feel - guiltily - is blessedly over.

I only saw her two or three times a year. But she was full of life and fun, and always, always, made me feel very welcome in the family, like she was pleased that H had found me and added me to the mix. Apparently she was very good at her job; she was a high-flyer in the world of university fund-raising. She had a couple kids and a gazillion grandchildren – one of her daughters is now pregnant with her NINTH – oh, the horror! – and a wonderful, kind boyfriend/fiancee who is our handyman (he fixes and plumbs and patches and glazes). He is known to my boys as “Tall Tony” and he drives a fire-engine red Camaro and brings me his homegrown tomatoes. He is just a great guy (whose first wife died of cancer also, sadly, in way of the world being completely unfair).

So we go to the viewing tonight, and the funeral on Thursday, and I wish – how I wish – that I’d told her – even though it probably would not have mattered to her in the least, that it was just the way she was – that her friendliness and kindness meant a lot to me. So, I’ve said it before and I am sure I’ll say it again – if you have something nice to say to someone – SAY IT. Let people you love know that. Let people you admire know that. Be kind, be accepting, be the best person you can be. And don’t wait until someone’s died before you think about how a little kindness on their part touched your life.

Peace and love to you, Susie.
The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace, both now and forever. Amen.


Paula said...


Carolyn said...

I'm sure "S" likes you as much as you like her.

There is somebody I have been meaning to write a letter to about how they made a difference. Maybe I'll get on that.

Sarah Louise said...

Amen, amen.

Joke said...

Requiem aeternam dona ei, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat ei. Requiescat in pace.


Lazy cow said...

Sorry, you'll have to wait for a few hours as I'm out the door for the day (don't even have time to read your post, which pains me no end). Details soon, promise.

Sarah Louise said...

Yo, if she talks to you and offers advice and is as genuine as she seems to be, I bet she's not poking pencils in her eardrums. I bet she's glad to have someone to kvetch with too. It's that women talking thing--it's how we get endorphins. Really! I saw it on the Today Show.

Badger said...

Okay, um, this is kind of weird, but my father-in-law's cousin died too, a couple of weeks ago. Actually, she was his cousin's wife, but she was like an aunt to DH (lived on the same street while he was growing up, etc.).

Unfortunately we didn't find out until about 30 minutes before the funeral, which took place in another state. DH is upset that he didn't get to go.


HEY! The details of my life ARE fascinating! Four out of five dentists think so!

Er, I have no idea what that means. Sorry.

Suse said...

Details shmetails. She's gorgeous and we didn't shut up for three and a half hours and what more can I say?

I too am flat out for the next couple of days but will attempt to put something together soon.

Condolences re your FIL's cousin, and also for the pencils in the ears fantasy because I'm certain it's just not true. I would LOVE to hang out with you for a couple of hours a week. And get paid for it.

Joke said...

What's with the Australian observing a vow of cyber-silence?


Lazy cow said...

NOW I've had time to read your post properly (while avoiding getting dinner ready), and I am in tears. You are so right; it is easy to be negative, but how many people know how much we love them? My kids do, and that's about all. It needs to change.
(I'm sure S *loves* you. And why can't you leave the kids with your husbands and have a beer? I'd make you do it if we worked together)