Tuesday, October 14, 2008

"I don't see myself as beautiful, because I can see a lot of flaws." - Angelina Jolie

Yeah, like you LIE.

Ahem.

I just returned from my more or less weekly grocery shop.

Never mind that, even with coupons and sales, my grocery bill is almost a hundred dollars more than it's typically been.

Never mind that Terzo is potty-training and I spent the entire hour waiting for a river of pee to flow beneath the cart.

What REALLY pissed me off, however, was the InStyle (or maybe it was People) magazine featuring sleek and lovely Angelina Jolie on the front cover. In a hot black dress, gorgeous high heels, rivers of lustrous mahogany hair, and two more lines added to the tattoos of her children's birth longitudes and latitudes.

And the headlines that screamed: "Angelina looks better than ever!"

But mostly what pissed me off? Her modest claim that she dropped her 50 pounds of babyweight by "breastfeeding and chasing [her] children."

Well, Angie, YOU are a big fat (well, not so fat) liar.

You know what? *I* breastfeed, and *I* run around like a freaking lunatic after my four children, and I *still* could stand drop 30 pounds. (And before you ask, I used to be thin. Like 5'8", 110 pounds thin.) In fact, I allow Jillian Michaels to kick my ass on a regular basis, and I do yoga every morning, and I run a few days a week, and yes, I am looking pretty decent, but my body does not resemble Angelina Jolie's body in any way whatsoever.

Well, except my hair. But mine's just lustrous because it needs washing.

5 comments:

blackbird said...

I'm pretty sure that I saw, in the supermarket, that AJ had lipo and a tummy tuck.

Katy said...

Yay for Terzo potty training! But it still sounds gross and un-fun. Good luck with that.

Shirty said...

I'm pretty sure I saw the same thing blackbird saw, and that AJ did indeed have surgical help in getting back to fabulous.

That said, though, I can't decide whether I'm thrilled to see moms like AJ and Halle Berry (which I'm likely misspelling--sorry) being viewed as totally hot and sexy, or if I'm dismayed because now all moms are supposed to look as hot and sexy as they do. Know what I mean?

Lisa said...

I am also breastfeeding (my son is 6 months) and so far all it's done is make me eat more. I weigh about 6 lbs less than when I came home with him, and trust me, that is a LOT more than before he was born. I'm tired of hearing that breastfeeding is the magic diet pill, cause it sure isn't for me! I don't wanna be hot and sexy (ok, yeah, I do) but I want to be able to pack away the elastic waist pants!

Beth said...

Guess what. AJ has a nanny for each child, a personal trainer, and a chef. And, apparently, a plastic surgeon. None of these folks are in her carefully-engineered photos. She makes her living off of her seemingly perfect image; I'm happy not to have to live under that kind of pressure. Photos of AJ are what you call "mommy porn"...nice to look at but impossible to attain.

I've decided that if I must compare myself to someone, it's going to be a real person.

Don't mean to sound bitter or anything.