Saturday, March 31, 2007

"The world is a vampire..." - "Bullet with Butterfly Wings," Smashing Pumpkins

The world is a vampire, sent to drain
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And what do I get, for my pain?
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game

Even though I know - I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold - like old job

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal
But can you fake it, for just one more show?
And what do you want?
I want to change
And what have you got, when you feel the same?

Even though I know - I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold - like old job

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was the only son, yeah.
Tell me I'm the chosen one
Jesus was the only son for you

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
And someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Despite all my rage am I still just a rat in a-
Despite all my rage am I still just a rat in a-
Despite all my rage am I still just a rat in a cage

Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was the only son for you

And I still believe that I cannot be saved
And I still believe that I cannot be saved
And I still believe that I cannot be saved
And I still believe that I cannot be saved


***********

Ok, everyone, don't panic.
I'm not suicidal or depressed.
I am merely EXHAUSTED.
And for some reason, the mental image of a hamster on a wheel translated itself to this song, which fit my mood surprisingly aptly.
I feel like I haven't stopped for weeks now, and I need a break, I need refreshment, I need to be alone for a bit.
I don't want hugs, or cookies, or prayers, or anything other than some peace and quiet and solitude.
So I'm a freak, shoot me.

I am taking a break.
A very short break.
After which I shall return, with my usual pithy commentary (ha).
Maybe a few days, no more than a week.

I need to rest.
And maybe eat some ice cream.

13 comments:

blackbird said...

hug

delta said...

Oh, thank God! I thought this was your Easter post.

You deserve a break today! And tomorrow. And as long as you like.

daysgoby said...

So ...coconut cake, delivered by mutes?

Rest well.

MsCellania said...

Same here. I'm Gone. Finished for now. Caput. Fin.

And I am going to start reading all my faves - it will sound like yours: Rushdie, Davies, Pears, Stegner, and

Coconut cake sounds perfect right about now. Tea with yours?

Yes, rest well. As dgb said.

Lazy cow said...

Rest and read. Talk soon.

nutmeg said...

Grab some "alone" time if you can. Revive. Survive. Sleep. Read. Eat. Return refreshed :-)

Katya said...

You're not a freak. I think the people who DON'T need alone time are freaks. Read -- have coconut cake -- and rest. I'll look forward to your return.

Poppy Buxom said...

Heavens to Betsy! I never heard any of these new-fangled "rock 'n' roll" songs (because I'm an old fart who prefers Monteverdi) but dear me, what very disturbing images. Mercy Maude!

I prescribe a nice nap and a cup of tea. Less blogging! More bingo!

Sarah Louise said...

BB, your commenters are the best.

I'm picturing a mute bringing you coconut cake and you playing silent bingo.

Rest! We'll read your archives or something. Or maybe we'll go res...

SL

Velma said...

Go get yourself some mental and physical peace and quiet. I agree with Katya - the people who don't need to be alone are freaky. Hope you get your mojo back soon!

hungry in LA said...

It's the dog. That's all I'm saying.

MotherPie said...

hungry in LA -- "it's the dog"????

Blog Ennui. There's a name for it.

ssheers said...

I read The Sparrow and Children of God because you recommended them (and because Badger said I would like them). Thank you. I enjoyed them.

I hope you are feeling better eating coconut cake and reading several good books in some quiet place.