Saturday, February 17, 2007

"Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed." - Carrie, in "Four Weddings and a Funeral"

I had a dream that H got remarried.
(H: “Why on EARTH would I do that?”)
I screamed at him and threw things and pitched a real fit but he was implacable – just like in real life.
I kept waiting for him to tell me he wouldn’t get married again, after all, but that never happened. (Even though we weren’t even separated, let alone divorced, in my dream - or in real life, either. In fact, tomorrow is our twelfth wedding anniversary. Ah, love. And stubbornness. Mostly stubbornness.)

This woman he married? She looked sorta like me, but shorter and thinner and with long, cascading dark hair. Conventionally pretty and feminine. Think Lorelai on Gilmore Girls, but more petite, maybe not as toothy.
(H: “Ok, I guess I can see that.”)

She had a fifteen- or sixteen-year-old daughter, pretty in a well-scrubbed sort of way, a little heavier than her mom, the type of teenager who wears patchouli and peasant skirts from import shops and Birkenstocks.

The new wife has dogs – maybe five, or six. Beagle-y types, with names like Charlie and Butch.
(H: “Now that’s REALLY crazy.” H doesn’t care for dogs.)

She lived in a weird little house with cement floors, and a two-lane highway running through the middle of the house, requiring you to look both ways before crossing the hall to use the bathroom. I was worried about what the boys would do in the middle of the night.

My mother-in-law-but-not-my-mother-in-law (in that odd way of dreams) was there, waiting with me for H to come home. She thought she should be there when I saw the happy couple together for the first time.
(H: “Why didn’t you go to the wedding?”
Me: “I don’t think I was invited, but I wouldn’t have gone anyway.”
H: “Really? Why not?”
Me: Silent, but give him a withering look of utter disdain, accurately conveying my feelings of how-stupid-are-you?)

H came in the door after the nuptials, wearing a surprisingly casual short-sleeved yellow plaid shirt.
(H: “Well, second wedding and all. Don’t want to overdo it.”)

And the New Wife said, “My husband!” and they embraced and kissed theatrically, her hair in a long swoop over H’s arm and down her back.

He SAID it wouldn’t change anything and I was relieved, but then I realized that he would be LIVING with her everyday, and not with me. I had that feeling I got my freshman year in college when the boy who’d just broken my heart told me he still loved me - but he was dating short, fat, chipmunky Jan Mullet.

New Wife was (H: “Obviously!”) going to be the boys’ stepmom, which would have been ok, I suppose, if I were DEAD.

“I thought you said you didn’t want to be married, to anyone,” I said to him.
He replied, “I have a lonely place, I deserve to have it filled.”
(H snorted. To be fair, so did I, upon recounting this bit of maudlin treacle.)

***************

My dream last night was even stranger, involving a beloved ex-boyfriend’s wedding, and superhero villains, and this gigantic old house I lived in with my gazillion siblings and my dad (I don’t have a gazillion siblings, and my dad’s been dead for almost twenty years).
I can’t even begin to recall what I had for dinner, or if perhaps I didn’t eat enough, or...does anyone know if one of the side effects of amoxicillin is fevered dreams?

Or maybe I should quit smoking so much opium?

15 comments:

tut-tut said...

Anniversaries can do that to a person . . .

Badger said...

I think too much Magic Swizzle is fucking with your head.

Lazy cow said...

I never listen to/read other peoples' dreams. But I read yours. As a character in "Sleeping with the enemy" (the book, not the movie) said to Julia Roberts about remarrying: "Why would I stick beans up my nose twice?"
Lazy Cow (why can't I post using my Google account? bloody Beta Blogger).

Caro said...

Have a happy anniversary!

If I had to cross the highway every time I had to use the restroom, I would be roadkill before the day was out!

Joke said...

I'm with Badger. This is like a David Lynch acid trip.

-J.

Stomper Girl said...

I did enjoy the way you recounted this. Swirled me right into surreal dreamland where you worry about the implications of crossing 2-lane highways in the middle of the night, instead of thinking why? that could never be...!

I swear I had a a similar type dream recently and I was so pissed off that I whacked Fixit when I woke up and told him about it. And was grumpy with him most of the morning.

RE that line: is still raining, hadn't noticed? Makes me go foetal from cringing. Not sure if it's the line or the way Andie MacDowell delivered it.

paula said...

Have a lovely anniversary BB!

Sometimes a highway running through your living room is just a highway.

Suse said...

I think the fact that tomorrow is your anniversary is somehow the reason for the remarrying dream.

Or it's that darned magic swizzle thing. (Has anyone else commented that magic swizzle sounds like a sex toy?)

nutmeg said...

FW and a F was our movie on our "girls movie night in" on Friday. I hadn't seen it for ages so it was a blast. Though Andie McDowell just doesn't do it for me.

That is one detailed memory of a dream. I usually don't remember much of mine only "sensations".

Your second dream sounds a bit familiar - you've been watching that Heroes TV show haven't you?

Bec of the Ladies Lounge said...

I dreamed we took the kids to a pet shop and bought the eldest a rattle snake for doing well at school. It wasn't til we got back to the car and the rattle snake developed conjunctivitis and got angry that I realised any other kind of pet would have been smarter. I even offered to get her mice (smelly!) in exchange for the rattle snake.

Of course, it was too late then. The snake was in the car and we, dear BB, were not.

So I feel your weird dreamy pain.

telfair said...

Wow!

Your dreams are so detailed (and linear!) To even know what kind of floors the New Wife had...although I suppose that had more to do with the freeway running through her house, didn't it...

I will say that while I find listening to most people's dreams to be very dull (they're full of symbolism that means nothing to the listener, but is laden with meaning for the dreamer), yours was downright fascinating.

BabelBabe said...

LC - EXACTLY!

Stomper - I picked that line because it too makes both H and I cringe. It is the epitome - or perhaps nadir is the correct word - of bad acting, as far as we are concerned. We quote it at each other often.
Suse - My initial observation was that about the Magic Swizzle. Nice to see someone else is on my wavelength : )
Nutmeg - I have been watching it, and enjoying it very much. Hmmm...
Bec - and H thinks he doesn't like DOGS. I should bring home a rattlesnake.
Telfair - all of my dreams are not this detailed. and most of them would be boring, to anyone else. But this seemed so apropos what with our anniversary and all. even H found it amusing, as evidenced by his reactions in the post : )

I do not plan on making revealing my dreams to you all a habit, as generally I find the practice insanely boring. so never fear...

Sarah Louise said...

Happy Anniversary!! The highway, hmmm....

jessmonster said...

I enjoyed the insertion of H's commentary. And I think "I have a lonely place, I deserve to have it filled" is my new favorite sentence. What about YOUR lonely place, huh?

I agree that the line from FWAAF is cringe-worthy - I think their relationship is my least favorite part of the movie.

Rogue Librarian said...

You know I feel the pain on this dream, but I must confess… I’m a little curious about the supervillain dream.